But our attitudes toward minivans are irrelevant, because there is no way we can afford a new car, having racked up so much debt remodeling our house. Whereas the labor was mostly free, the materials were not cheap.*
So, since we can't have a minivan, I have decided to sneer at them thusly:
Why on earth would anyone drive one of those hideous breadboxes? Who needs all that space and all those conveniences? There were five of us in my family, and we never had such a thing. When I was a toddler, we had two cars: the sports car, a '56 Austin Healy; and the family car, a '65 GTO with a 389, a six-pack, and a 4-on-the-floor tranny. We drove cross-country like that--Mom behind the wheel of the Goat with a trailer in tow, and Dad driving the Healy because no one else was qualified to operate its complicated, highly modified (rigged) electrical system. Was it comfortable? Not really. Safe? I think the Goat had seatbelts in the front. But that's the kind of experience that really helps mold a bunch of people with shared DNA into a family; and it provides great stories to bore your children with. Was it ideal, when all of us kids were bigger, to travel across Europe in our rusted out Audi 100 LS ? In some ways it was. By driving a beater, we were able to afford ski passes; and in addition, it built character and helped us learn to fight hand-to-hand in close quarters.
So Dr. Mom and I are eschewing the minivan in favor of our classic autobahn cruiser, a sweet German sports coupe...well, more of a sedan...all right--a 13-year old hatchback. By cleverly accessorizing, we are able to carry both the kids, their gear, and their bitchin' Chariot II stroller/bike trailer. We could also theoretically carry a bike on top and a large dog in the way-back.
- I don't really think I have a brain tumor. I went to the doctor the other day and he told me to stop being such a fatass and tried to assign me some Michael Pollan as homework. I was like, "Look Hippie, I've already read all that crap. Why don't you just give me one of them lap bands already." He also gave me referrals to two specialists for other non-brain related, non-serious issues. That's why I avoid going to the doctor. I didn't bring up the headaches. Maybe next time.
- Stella is doing quite a bit better. At least I am less mad at her. Probiotics seem to have helped with the chronic diarrhea, and PPA has mostly stopped the urinary incontinence. I've been trying extra hard to be nice to her and give her some special Dad time every day. She seems to have adjusted to her new food.
- I changed the settings so you can write comments without logging in, based on a suggestion from a lazy reader.
- The big shindig over the weekend went really well. 12 grown-ups, 11 babies, heaps of bbq, and no meltdowns or huge messes. My concerns about our guests judging us were unfounded and indicate my own shallowness more than anything. Everyone had fun and loved our house.
- I am substitute teaching a nighttime English Lit class at a trade school for gamers and anime fanboys. I had to miss the girls' bedtime for the first time since they have had a sleeping schedule. Dislike.
- The girls are already thrifty! See how they fight over a Babies R Us coupon?