My mind is buzzing with random crap. I could go on for days. But I'll try not to. Read this, then click on the thingy and go visit Keely.
Here's an introduction to some of the people who frequent our gym. Our gym is in the heart of the gayborhood, and it's open 24 hours, so it's always colorful. And I've been going there at about 11:00 p.m. lately because that's about the only time I can, so I see get to see some of the best characters.
Dancy-Pants: A handsome Latino gent, about my age (40-ish), but much more fit and with better posture than me. He can usually be found in the group exercise area by himself, practicing his dirty dancing. If he's not a professional, he should be. This guy is good. Twirls, leaps, shimmies, hip-swivels, and pelvic thrusts...oh, the pelvic thrusts. When he's not dancing, he's in the weight room in his dance shoes and pants, rhythmically doing curls and presses while bouncing on his toes. I guess he's never not dancing, really.
Booby Lady: Probably every gym in Southern California has several of these. But ours is special. She is very petite, Asian, and has comically huge gazongas. Each one is about thirty percent bigger than her head. She can be seen taking kickboxing and other aerobics-type classes, but not really moving all that much. Her boobies don't move at all. We think she must be in the adult entertainment industry.
Tat-toupee: There are a lot of people with a lot of tattoos at our gym; many of them on their necks and faces. But Tat-toupee has only one tattoo (at least only one that's visible while he's clothed)--a dark blue and green, densely detailed "Aloha" style floral print that covers his entire scalp. From a distance, it just looks like he has really close-cropped dark hair. But get up close and it's clear that his "hair" is all ink. Could this have been less painful than a hair transplant? Other than his head, this guy is completely unremarkable looking.
Air Tran: The first time I saw Air, I thought, Holy Crap...that chick is ripped! At about 6'5" and 210 lbs, she looks like a sinewy NBA player with a weave, acrylic nails, and a sports bra supporting her modest, athletic rack. But a cursory and surreptitious scan reveals that she is also in need of a jock strap. If, as I presume, Ms. Tran is on hormone treatment to suppress her male characteristics, I can only imagine how jacked she was when her testosterone levels were topped off.