Friday, October 15, 2010

Anger Management


At the playground yesterday afternoon, a woman about my age, with big fake boobs and sweatpants with "Pink" emblazoned across the ass, asked me if my girls were twins.  I said yep, and she told me that she had twin girls as well.  I was thinking playdate, but she said her girls were fifteen.  So maybe babysitting instead.  

Like almost every parent of multiples that I have spoken to (and believe me: if you have twins, everyone else who has twins--or is a twin, or knows twins--will tell you all about it), this woman said, "Don't worry, it gets easier."

This seems strange to me, because frankly, it's been pretty easy so far.  Our kids are champion sleepers (still on the 2-nap-a-day plan), adventurous eaters, of moderate temperament, and have barely even had the sniffles so far.  Pretty low-maintenance all the way around.  But if it gets even easier, then that's all to the good.  I like easy.

The problem is that I don't really buy it.  Taking care of the twins is changing in many ways, but on balance I think it may be getting just a little more difficult.  More fun, but more work too.

You see, lately they have started wanting.  A lot.  When it was just a matter of taking care of what they needed, I could get by with a very limited parenting repertoire.  But now, their demands for entertainment and attention and just...things...are much more specific and urgent, and they expect quick satisfaction, despite their Neanderthal communication skills.

Along with the wanting comes the occasional not getting, which leads inexorably to the complaining, usually in the form of whining and crying.  And sometimes this makes Daddy angry.

I've gotten pretty good at sublimating my gut reaction to brain-withering screams, overturned bowls of food, eye-gouges, and twin-on-twin violence; and usually it's easy to curtail the offending behavior just through distraction.  When it gets really hard though, is when I'm trying to do something else at the same time as I'm trying to not get mad at a kid.  Especially when that other thing involves trying to not get mad at something else. 

Like yesterday morning, for example.

Our house is long and narrow.  All the open areas you see in the drawing below are actually filled with furniture and appliances, so there's just a narrow corridor of space that goes through the entire house. 

(If you are considering using this plan to figure out how to break into our house and steal our VCR, you can just forget about it.  We have a fearless guard dog who will eat your spleen.)



The kids use this corridor as a drag strip for their various wheeled push-toys and the battery-operated ATV their grandparents inflicted upon us.  Stella, our 120-lb dog, who is on medication for her crippling anxiety (it kind of works?), has to share the space with them.  She doesn't have enough sense to find one secure nook and hunker down; and her previous refuge, the stair landing, is off limits to her because of this and similar offenses.  

So the kids tear from one end of the house to the other, and Stella, her ears pinned back and tail between her legs, freezes up until the little hellions are upon her, at which point she makes a wild break for the side of the house they just came from.  This sometimes makes Daddy angry at the dog.  But again, there's no profit in yelling at a dog because she's scared.  So I try to soothe her.  Or throw her outside.  Which seems like it would be a relief for her. But strangely, she usually wants to come back inside almost immediately.

The above scenario was playing out yesterday morning, plus Stella needed to eat, which means going out onto the deck because she is the messiest-eating dog I've ever seen, and so I tried to usher her calmly past the kids, who were having a very lively play session in which Cobra was using Butterbean's head as a conga  drum.

But Stella would not be persuaded to walk past the twins, who stood between her and the back door, lest she be crushed by a tiny plastic shopping cart or gutted with a wooden spoon.

     
Stella's route to the deck.  (I don't know how to use Photoshop, so I used my own program, which I call "Gluestick.")


I had Stella's food (and her crazy-pill) in one hand, and was trying to lure her to me with the treat I had in the other hand.  She froze up.  Meanwhile the kids started closing in on me.  

There were a lot of different actions I could have taken at that point, but I was determined to get Stella out of the house, so I went to her and started dragging her toward the door.  She panicked--first trying to back up, then trying to run toward the back door, and finally just generally skittering and thumping and making a horrible commotion.

The ruckus, and the proximity to naptime, caused the girls to start screaming and tugging at my shorts as I tried to wrestle the maniac dog out the door without spilling dogfood all over the playroom.  

As I had no hands left to disentangle their meaty little fingers from my leg-hair, I was faced with the task of verbally convincing the children to let go of me.

Now, I know that I should have responded to their wild behavior with an equal measure of calm parental reassurance.  I'm reading Touchpoints, for cryin' out loud.  Even though the girls don't really talk yet, they understand a lot of what we say. I should have explained that I realized they were going through a lot of changes and learning so fast right now, and that it was wonderful but sometimes frustrating and confusing and sometimes even scary, and that I knew they needed their mom and dad maybe more now than ever, even though they were transitioning into a phase of greater independence.

But what I heard hissing through my clenched teeth instead was: Back.  The fuck.  Off. 

Which had the twofold effect of a) making me instantly feel like an asshole; and, b) well, nothing.  I still had to shove the flailing dog out the door while dragging along the screaming kids who had by then pierced my hamstrings with their talons.

These moments of exasperation are really few and far between, and I think they are becoming more rare even as the kids become more demanding.  I'm pretty pleased with myself on that account.  For a while, I was getting annoyed with the kids fairly regularly.  But I realized that it only happened when I was trying to multi-task, which is something I should never do in the first place, and, unless totally unavoidable, is kind of like cheating on the kids.  Usually when the girls get cranky, all they want is my attention, which is not such a difficult thing to give.  And, unlike with grownups, being patronizing actually works on them.     





62 comments:

  1. Remind me to tell you about the time my daughter was nine months, wouldn't stop screaming and yanking on my leg hair while I was trying to write something, and I called her... let's just say a bad name.

    No one heard, but I felt guilty for the rest of the day. And I'm pretty sure that nine years later, on some subconscious level, the kid remembers the whole thing.

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  2. Congrats, gentlemen, you are both officially human. Huge props for even trying to do all of that at the same time, in case you haven't noticed, we mothers tend to say we're doing everything while screaming in an actual attempt to call for back-up; that's where you guys come in. I, for one, am impressed that you find the time to read anything during the day...let alone Touchpoints. :D

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  3. It may seem that it gets easier, but I think as u live day in and day out u soon pick your battles... Things that bothered u no longer because u sit back and think whether its really worth the kibitzing... I don't have twins but I have /had 3 kids, now grown... Multiples are hard, my daughter babysat for twins... Its an ongoing process w/multiples... Alot of no downtime for the parent... Even w/no multiples, a parent puts the child first... Up until 9 years ago, I was putting my kids first... Then I said to myself that they were capable after all one was in h.s. two were out of college....So, I put me first... As far as the nap thing- your twins know how to work ya... when they tug on your pant leg- let them know u don't like it... its all conditioning....It really works when u take their little hands and hold them and look into their eyes and say " Daddy doesn't like that"....and w/a hug of course...kids are smart.

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  4. I struggle with my temper in relation to the kid every.single.week. I have no patience and I REALLY dislike whining. And my mother, god bless her meddling soul, has made my child a HUGE whiner.

    Seriously, you are doing fantastic. Me...not so much.

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  5. you're doing great...let's see how many times did I lose it with my ONE son...not enough hours in the day, week, month, year to recount...years ago had one friend tell me about chasing one of her sons around the house with one of those two pronged forks for spearing meat (not kids..LOL) and another friend told me about getting into an actual physical altercation with her tween daughter...where they ended up rolling around on the floor stuggling with each other...and wait til they get old enough to tell you they're going to call child services and tell them you're abusing them...whoa! REPEAT...you're doing great...

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  6. Wow! It sounds like madness sometimes at your house. Not only twins but a huge dog with anxiety problems? Makes me laugh!

    Your blog is great so I gave it an award. Stop by and check it out if you have a chance.

    www.womaninternational.blogspot.com

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  7. I once pulled my sons hair (bad reaction) to get him to open his mouth so I could brush his teeth (good mommy task - he was 3. And then I asked why he made me do it(I know, I'm challenged). Not my finest mommy moment. Oh and we are saving for therapy, not college.

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  8. You are doing a good job. Really.

    I have three. Four, two and a five-month old. I feel you about the multitasking.

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  9. All the more reason to shave your legs. (But then you'll need to start riding your bike all the time to justify it.)

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  10. OMFG!!! I was literally laughing at the "Back the fuck off" hiss!!! and the meaty fingers tangled in your leg hair was pretty funny too. Great post. You are doing a great job. Go with your gut. Love the crazy dog too!

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  11. I think you are going to be just fine ... until they get their period! Love your blog!

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  12. Ha! This blog makes me laugh and laugh. I have twin 18 month-olds, and my husband is doing the stay-at-home-dad thing also. I relate to this on so many levels.

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  13. I see you have a mudroom. Easy: Convert it into a panic room for Stella. I just solved all your problems.

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  14. Sorry, you lost me at big fake boobs and... something about her ass...

    Seriously, don't be surprised if one of 'em (or both if you're so lucky) drops an "F" bomb on you when the words start forming. Kids tend to latch on the the words we don't want them to remember.

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  15. You should upgrade to the latest version - Gluestick 2.0.

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  16. I could not stop laughing! Is it wrong I found that hilarious? I personally have (accidentally) exclaimed "what the hell are you doing!?!" when surprised by turning around and finding a child neck high in something they really shouldn't be neck high in. And then I go find the camera, to document it so when whomever I am telling the story to thinks I'm grossly exaggerating about the mush that used to be the cat's food and water bowl contents was coating their entire body, the floor, the walls, the cat.... I'll have concrete proof that yes, it really was that bad.

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  17. You are quite adept at Gluestick. I am impressed. But the box of Corona makes me shudder. It was my ex- evil step-mother's drink of choice. (She's still evil, but no longer my step-mother, thank god). She drank a lot of Corona when we came to visit. Hmmm, what does that say about us?

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  18. Poor Stella. The "Why Mommy" stage is what got me, but now I wish for it as all I get is "uh huh". Have a great weekend.

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  19. See, I would never tell any parent it gets "easier". So far it's only been harder (my oldest is 3). Yes it's "easier" in some ways, but in other ways all I want to do is rock back and forth in a fetal position in the corner while muttering, "no one told me it would be this fracking hard no one told me it would be this fracking hard no one told me it would be this fracking hard everyone lies lies lies..."

    I don't want to get into the "oh just wait until [insert development]" thing (ok, I can't help it, just wait until the "whhhhyyyyy" stage), but I have never told any parent it gets easier. I always say, this is fracking hard and I have lost my shit many times but you can get through it.


    Pam

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  20. I don't think I realized what vulgarities 2nd Daughter was picking up from me (when she was about 2 & a half) until I saw her trying to move an obstinate plastic patio chair, and with each frustrating, halting scoot: "Damn it ... Damn it ... Damn it ... Damn it ..." I had to walk away, having barely stiffled the inevitable guffaw.

    Driving is another danger zone. I had to train myself to yell "Dude!" at every idiot/asshole driver out there (and they are legion).

    "Rats" is my new favorite for self-inflicted frustrations.

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  21. @DiPi--You know why she remembered? Because words are so powerful. LOL. My parents never, ever cussed in front of us. As a result, they had a whole rich vocabulary with which to express frustration. That's how I learned what a "dullard" is.

    @Brandi--Touchpoints is great for fighting insomnia. I only ever have the foggiest recollection of what it actually says. I think it's seeping in though.

    @KBF--You're just now cutting the apron strings on kids who graduated college?! I'm training these kids to take care of themselves by 4th grade.

    @OTW--Man. Living with a kid AND your mom has to come with a whole different set of challenges. I don't envy you.

    @IWofM--Yay! An award! I'll be right there...

    @Michelle--Thanks. People always think twins must be so hard, but I feel for people with kids of varying ages, who have different needs, schedules, etc.

    @Laura E--Get your husband over here. I want to compare notes!

    @Rook--It's been a long time! Anyway, every room is a panic room for Stella. I liked your comment on the Stella vs. Squirrel post, btw. A terrier taking down a turkey is bad.ass.

    @Vinny--I know, I know. And they will do it right in the middle of show-and-tell in kindergarten too. It'll serve me right.

    @Elly Lou--Really? It's out already? Why haven't they mailed me an update?

    @Marty--Oh man. Catfood paste? I would have to break out the hard liquor to deal with that.

    @A Cappelli--Thanks. I've been using that program since preschool, so, yeah, I'm pretty freakin' good. I would never drink Corona myself, except maybe with breakfast burritos on a hot day. But it makes a good children's beer.

    @Nubian--I know. That poor animal. I can't wait for the kids to really start talking, but I might regret it when I hear what they have to say.

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  22. @Trout--I was just thinking about shaving my legs as they were clinging to me this morning. Also, bike shorts would be good because they're hard to grab onto.

    Re: driving--I know. I use all my best stuff (anatomical, scatological, misogynistic, homophobic--the works) when I'm on the road. Gotta get a handle on that.

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  23. Oh, yeah. Wait til they start whining. I have ONE kid and I can't stand it; it's like nails on a chalkboard. Some people seem to be able to tune it out, but it goes straight into my soul and has caused more than one eruption that has included profanity. I always feel like an asshole, too.

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  24. This post was particularly wonderful. I could just imagine this crazy unfolding. Good sensory details. The dialogue also helped bring the piece to life. Yes, I do teach college comp, why do you ask.

    Oh, and your work with a glue stick is amazing!

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  25. I never joined a twin group when I got preggers with my twins because I couldn't stand the idea of a bunch of folks telling me how it was going to be. It's a bitch when it's a bitch, and out-of-this-world fantastic the rest of the time. I don't give advice about it, even when asked. The details are different for each parent, right?

    I'm all over the screaming--guilt business. And multi-tasking is the gateway to "Get away from me!" A screaming of mine that I love to hate.

    You're kickin' dad ass. Keep up the good work.

    PS--The only advice I do give out is: Duct tape. Yes, you need it to parent twins.

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  26. My one year old has given our cat psychological problems too - he sneaks up on him when he's asleep and screams. It was kinda funny...at first.

    I think all parents have their boiling point, and from what I read it sounds like your doing a great job handling your plateful.

    Loved your post.

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  27. Having 12 year old twins - it doesn't get easier - it gets different. We're hitting the pre-teen/teen hormones starting and well, it's just different. When they were young, even being 2 months early with oxygen, heart monitors, etc... it was easier. It's the wants that change everything. The whining is bad but I have to tell you the talking back is over-the-top. As far as anger management, I've thrown a couple of plates and whispered my share of obscenities so much so that my kid with development delays can say sh*t clear as a bell and uses it appropriately.

    Day to day is how things come and how things go... you are doing great!

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  28. I have two girls myself. 14 months apart. They are now 17 & 18 but even though it was a long time ago, this should still work:

    For whining - be as hard of hearing and as hard-hearted as you are able

    Doggy Dining - It's a dog, feed her during naptime

    Twin Gargoyles at the Gate - A quick and strategic aerial swoop and drop on the gargoyles into a playpen (or makeshift cell) works wonders as well

    I guess it's possible that you aren't supposed to ignore, yell at or confine your children these days but it works and keeps you sane which is a blessing for the whole family.

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  29. I love that you put this out there! I have had a few occasions where I've had my almost 6 month old on the change table, writhing around and yet managing to kick me rather hard in the breasts.

    When they're full it hurts like hell.

    And I've caught myself telling him to "Fucking stop it!" as a reflex. I didn't think it first and then say it - it just fell out of my mouth! This was followed by the overwhelming guilt and then the self doubt - "Oh my God, am I a bad mother?".

    You seem to be able to articulate everything I feel so much better than I will ever be able to and for that, I thank you.

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  30. I'd think twins are hard in many ways. Can't say as I would hope for multiples if given the choice. But then again my stepdaughters are 7 & 8, and all I can think about when they fight is how much it's going to suck when they are teenagers.

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  31. @Beta Dad: As someone told me " u never stop being a parent".... its harder for women.. Men can be more matter of fact...I know my husband was... Guess I'm too much of a softie..

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  32. I had a few choice moments this week... the 5 week old twins are sleeping like babies (ie waking to feed every 3 hours, and taking quite a while to get back to sleep) and the toddler came down with a throat infection and was spiking fevers for 3 nights... she is even more clingy and demanding when sick, and I did feel like a shit dad for brushing her off and being short with her this week.

    BUT we totally depend on her 2 days of daycare to attempt to catvh up on everything that slips during the rest of the week. Having her home sick made for some very not-fun times! Like you say, I get frustrated when trying to multitask. It seems when ever I say "I must get X done this week", the universe says "HA" and kicks me in the nuts. One piece of advice that I have tried to take on board as the parent of twins (esp with an older child as well) is to lower my standards. And then lower them some more!

    grant.

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. This was so funny. Your dog is nuts. :) This is why I don't have a pet. I'd definitely wind up with a dog that needs medication.

    Also I think most parents let inappropriate things slip from time to time. Being a parent is difficult. Difficult jobs cause stress. Stress causes bad parental word choices. I think that window of time between birth and 2 1/2 is when we all struggle with it. Once we start hearing it repeated back to us, it becomes much easier to self edit.
    Obviously, you need to teach the twins that leg hair doesn't equal handles. I had to teach my son that ears were not handles. Children often get confused about 'what is' and 'what is NOT' a handle. Fact of life, Beta Dad. Two words: Leg warmers. You're welcome. :)

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  35. speaking of handles, the toddler has a nasty habit of hanging onto a nipple when you pick her up... We are using the puppy training technique to try and teach her to stop hurting us! (yelping really loudly when she does something like this... unfortunately I think she, and probably most toddlers, is a sadist)

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  36. I heart Stella stories.

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  37. As a twin myself... blah, blah, blah.

    I'm not really sure how life with twin girls would get easier as they get older. The woman was either a) lying or b) blocking out the trauma/drama.

    Not that I want to scare you or anything, but there will come a time when they're going to want to start dating and then you'll be longing for days like this again.

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  38. Well, I didn't have twins, but I did have four little girls real close together, as in when #4 arrived in the household, #1 had just turned 5. I am sure I uttered "back the fuck off" a time or two, or something in a similar vein. Does it get easier? Oh hell no! When they're babies, they need you for the basic stuff: food, sleep, baths, comfort, butt-wiping. You've got that down, and you're doing a fabulous job.

    Just prepare yourself for the future. As they get older and more independent and can do all that self-maintenance stuff on their own, they are flooded with hormones and this weird and obsessive need to fit in. This, my friend, is when they need you most. This is the most challenging time of their/your lives. Trust me on that. May the force be with you.

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  39. @Keely--they have already started whining, although it's still a primitive form of it. Not cool. They are also figuring out martial arts.

    @Karina--So, is this going to raise my grade up to a B for the semester? Would it have been better if I had put it in a plastic binder?

    @Nicole--thanks for the vote of confidence. Duct tape? I've got a roll in every room. I don't see how anyone, parent or not, could live without it.

    @Amber--I still need to work on it though. It's so weird. I will act out of anger, even while I'm telling myself that it's not only mean, but ineffective.

    @Helena--I'm glad you're here to keep me from whining about how hard it is to care for my twins. I can't imagine dealing with special needs above and beyond the standard ones. Also, the idea of "backtalk" makes me shudder. I'm trying to forget I ever heard it.

    @Nari--I think, with multiples, you're allowed to ignore a lot of the tenets of modern parenting. Re: dog-feeding--mostly I wanted to get her out of the house. But you're right, I should have abandoned that plan as the events escalated out of control.

    @Francesca--yeah, there are certain kinds of pain that call for immediate swearing. I suspect the breast-kick is quite similar in intensity to the nut-punch.

    @CKLunch--I'm pretending that they will never be teenagers. They'll just skip that phase and become perfectly rational adults.

    @KBF--I talk all hard now, but I'm a softie too. I'll probably cry like a baby when they go off to preschool.

    @Inertia--My hat is off to you. I can't imagine juggling twins and a toddler. Sounds like you are dealing with it well, though. We tried the puppy-training method too. It kinda works, but sometimes it just gets them more excited.

    @Momma/Nanny--That's a good point. I hope that their feedback will affect my behavior. I'm already afraid they are going to go around scolding the dog.

    @OBG--I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they both turn out to be lesbians. At least then there won't be teenage boys hanging around them.

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  40. i stopped reading halfway through to email a link to this post to my sister (who has 2yr old twins and is pregnant with ANOTHER set of twins... no fertility, just a curse - err, blessing, i mean). funny stuff, man. you've got a regular circus going on, and the talent to make it funny rather than sad :) well played.

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  41. I have 19-month old twin boys, and always get the "It gets easier" from parents of multiples, and i also get asked all the time, "is it getting easier?" Hard to answer because, like you & Helena Stamper have noted, it just gets different. Yeah, in some ways it's easier, but some things make it harder. The whining is what is leaving me exhausted lately. As someone who has no patience herself, how do i teach my kids patience?!?!

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  42. Damnit. I was TOTALLY gunning for that sweetass VCR.

    *facepalm*

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  43. Not an easy road, but your doing a great job!
    I like the commenter who gave you the 'leg warmers' suggestion. :)
    Hugs,
    gabriele

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  44. HA! dude, I feel you. And why do you have a VCR and no TV?

    Next time you need a ridiculous diagram photoshopped you should drop me a note. a few jpegs and an hour or two and I can knock out something a little more polished for you. ya know, fan art.

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  45. Is getting cyber *hugs* kind of like the platonic cousin of cyber sex? Does anyone cyber makeout? And if so, and cyber sex is generally carried out in private IM, then a comment *hug* would be the internet equivalent of walking over and just huggin it out with a stranger?

    On that note, it would be sweet if there was an event where instead of posting online, huge crowds of readers gathered in person and bloggers were forced to stand up and read our self deprecating, insecure yet navel gazing rantings aloud. Just typing that made me throw up a little in my mouth.

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  46. I was, in fact, going to break into your house and steal your TV, and perhaps one of your babies, but since you have a guard dog who will eat my spleen, I'll stay home. I like my spleen. Now, if you had said kidney, I might have taken my chances, you know, since I have two. ;)

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  47. @Franny--what a great comment! Thanks a lot. Man. Two sets of twins. Crazy. Although, at the moment, with my kids sound asleep, it doesn't sound that bad.

    @Sil--I guess you have to let them teach you patience first. That is so deep and powerful, what I wrote just then. *weeping*

    @Chris--tough shit, suckah!

    @Gabriele--awkward hug back! With back-pats.

    @Peter--I was really, inordinately, proud of my work with Gluestick. I'm going to *stick* with that method for a while at least. Maybe I'll send you some pics to see what you come up with though. Could you do Stella as a flying dragon pulling the girls in a golden chariot?

    Why do we have a VCR? I don't know. Why do we have 1000 feet of phone line and no land-lines in the house? Why do we have a laptop that hasn't worked since 2002? Why do we have every pair of shoes my wife has owned since she was in junior high?

    There is a place where the "live blogging with hugs" happens, or so I hear. It's called the BlogHer conference.

    @Skippy--You would have found yourself not only spleenless, but also deaf from the children's sonic assault, and sorely disappointed in that we have no TV. You made the right decision, my friend.

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  48. Article Quality Always Get The Attention of The Reader ! :))

    Thank You !

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  49. HA! Like straight up neverending story style G! hellz yeh. I'm I could actually, it would just all depend on the photos you have, making the angles match etc. If you want me to throw together a mock up sometime, make an album on picasa or somewhere with a bunch of options and I'll go thru and download what might work for something outrageous. maybe the twins battling it out in a roman arena.

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  50. Hehee! I am sorry to laugh at your pain but that was so dammed funny. Whoever told you twin GIRLS get easier are lying to you! My worst mummy moment was when I was yelling at my son because he didn't have his school hat, yet again. He insisted it was at home, I wouldnt believe him and told him he must have left it at school. I dropped him off and went home in a mood. Put the keys on the table and there was his hat sitting on a chair. I immediatly burst into tears. I was scum. Also, I love your "Gluestick" pic, 'tis a work of art :)

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  51. GREAT POST!

    Would u like to have a Link Exchange??

    Steve
    Common Cents
    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

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  52. Funny about the VCR. The other day a friend was saying I shouldn't have left my door open, because someone could have stolen my TV. That's how old we are. Because really, my iPod is probably worth more than my TV.

    As for the rest, we try to make sure there's a small toy-free area in the house. It keeps us sane to know we won't bump into toys at least in one room, and it teaches our boy about boundaries. In our case, it's the living room, because that place belongs to the two dogs. I don't vacuum next to them (we take them out of the house before we vacuum) and I don't let my kid run around too much next to them. They're old and they deserve their peace.

    And multitasking never works for me. I'm like you. I try, I fail, I get angry, I yell, with no effect. A crying child is no better environment for getting stuff done than a running, happy child, so I might as well keep him happy, you know?

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  53. Wow. Can't wait to babysit after reading this "charming" story. The least you can do is give me your VCR.

    -Jo Frost

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  54. I found your blog interesting and useful. I added your blog to my favorites and i will come to visit again tomorrow. I have a blog about home remedies for sore throat :)

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  55. :) I hate it when people say 'it get's easier'. In my experience you just get ups and downs. When our boy was 2 years old me and him where inseparable but the other half was convinced the boy hated her to the core.
    Then, at 3 years old it flipped around and he seemed to hate my guts!!
    Today it seems he's happy with both of us - for the time being at least.

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  56. Dude. I have twins. 2 yr old girls. Anyone who says it gets easier is full of shit. plain + simple. My girls are pretty good. they have their moments. They drive us crazy--to the brink. But they are magical in every way. Yo, check out my blog when u get a sec. Tons of cool stuff. Ur stories are great.

    http://blackwolf-wolfpack.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  57. I hope that lady was right. My twins are almost four and three has been ridiculous. I think they are easier than a single child when they are young but two kids fighting over the step stool in the bathroom at full volume everyday will drive anyone to let the bad words out.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I have almost 18 years experience as a mother of twins. We have traded the days when shaking my keys would keep them entertained to constant begging for me to hand over the keys. It doesn’t get easier or harder. With each passing year there are different difficulties and different benefits. Sleepless nights with crying babies has changed into lying awake waiting to hear them come home. Telling them what to do and what not to do, has changed into them coming to me for advice. Laughing at them being cute and silly has changed into... (Ok I still do that)...
    My point is that there are always going to be hard moments and there are always going to be easy moments. Each moment is an experience which will soon pass, so relish them all!

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  59. I've kind of figured out the same thing. Multitasking doesn't work when I'm taking care of the kids. I usually end up wanting to say the same thing you did. I TRY not to use the foul language, but I'm not promising that I have never, nor will ever, use it. Take heart, you're not alone in the frustration.

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  60. Its time to move on. We had a similar situation when I was a kid. My mom finally gave away the cat. I was heartbroken, but as an adult and mother, think she did the right thing. My beloved pet used up far too much of her emotional energy and she was a more unhappy frustrated mother because if it. You need to get this dog into a home where its crap (literally and figuratively) will be tolerated and make yourself a happier dad.

    ReplyDelete

Don't hold back.

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