Tuesday, October 5, 2010

In which I personally attack another dadblogger for no good reason. Sorry, a "So much more than" dad blogger.

In this post, I may be a) tilting at windmills; b) being a delusional hater and douchebag; c) making a big deal about something obvious; or d) a combination of the preceding. In any case, I am surely embarrassing myself and possibly initiating the demise of my blogging "career." Whatevz.

I have not been aggravated in this particular way since I was a much younger man. This is probably a bad sign, and it may have something to do with the recent adjustment in my thyroid medication. (If it gives me the percentage of body fat I had when I was eighteen, however, I will happily learn to live with this heightened sense of indignation and urge to lash out.) Please accept my apologies in advance for the attack that follows.

When I was in my early teens, I latched on to the loutish, playful anger of punk rock, and let it guide my decisions about who and what to embrace, and who and what to dismiss or attack. Of course I had plenty of friends who didn't understand my obsession, and that was fine. I could even abide people mocking punk rock. But what I couldn't tolerate was posers trying to act or dress like punks to get attention or, much worse, musical acts adopting the punk rock ethos in an attempt to sell records.

Because the most important aspect of punk rock was to be "real." I railed against these frauds, and of course no one really cared. And that's what I'm doing now, because apparently I'm fifteen years old.

The object of my ire? A probably perfectly nice guy named Dan, who, through his blog Single Dad Laughing, is probably just trying to get famous and make a buck. His offense? Becoming way too popular, way too soon, in the milieu that many of us are floundering around in for whatever reason: to make contact with other parents, to try to establish ourselves as writers, to rake in swag from sponsors--whatever (see the interesting conversation in the blogosphere in the last few weeks about whether dadbloggers "suck"). Dan has managed, in three months of blogging (according to his own analysis) to attract the kind of traffic that would make the most famous mommybloggers spontaneously give birth to glittering herds of unicorns.

Or so it seems to me. Most people don't advertise how many "hits" they're getting. But Dan cheerfully boasts about the tens of thousands of people reading his blog, and how much his magical words have changed peoples' lives, and how he plans to change the world. I am not exaggerating at all. Check out his latest self-aggrandizing post.   He has hundreds of comments on many of his posts, and on some of them, there are over a thousand--more than on any of the most wildly popular blogs I have read.  I don't think there's any way to fake that: the guy is obviously a marketing genius if nothing else.

So why can't I just wish this fellow dadblogger well and admit that people dig what he's putting out there in his heartfelt, moralistic, Air Supply-ish prose?  That he is inspiring people the way I and my fellow dadblogging proles could never do?

Because 1) he kind of sucks (sorry Dan); and 2) there's something really fishy about his operation.  I elaborate below.

1) The suckiness.  Whatever.  There is no accounting for taste.  It bugs me a bit when people fall for sentimental dreck.  But I know a lot of people like that kind of stuff.  I didn't care for Titanic.  I thought the "poignant" Shamu narrative at Sea World was preposterous.

Just as, when I was in a punk band, I thought we were better than a lot of the other bands in our scene, I think I'm a better writer than some of my peers.  Dan included.  But that shit is subjective.  And, as many experts point out, it doesn't really matter how good your writing is in the world of blogs (or novels, movies, TV, etc.)  There's way more to it than that.

So, then, on to #2) The Fishiness.

I haven't read every word of this guy's blog, but here's the gist of it from my perusing maybe 40% of his posts:

He's a single dad, twice divorced, living in Salt Lake City.  He is employed full time (but as of his last post, he quit his job so he could focus on changing the world through his blog, and he wants you--yes you!--to petition Ellen and Oprah to help him on his mission.)  He loves his kid way more than you love yours.  His own writing makes him cry.  A lot.  (Read the "about" section for a very glowing third person review of his "powerful" writing.)  He loves M&Ms more than you love your kid.  It seems like he has another kid from his first wife, but he doesn't really talk about that one.  His blog is "So much more than a daddy blog," according to his banner.

Pretty busy life, right?  But he finds time to post on his blog every single day, including photos, videos, CG comics, and tons of info about his stats that indicate a considerable amount of data analysis on his part.  He often refers to the long hours he spends writing and re-writing his "powerful"--and long (I'm one to talk)--messages.  Also, he has a full complement of ads running on his site, which would require quite a bit of time to manage, and is launching a store to sell his "Get Real" merchandise.  And his most "powerful" sermon post happens to include the exhortation that we dads turn off our computers and spend more time with our precious kids. (I think that sentiment is his intellectual property, actually.)

I, on the other hand, like most daddy bloggers (I suspect), barely manage to churn out two or three posts a week, and feel terribly guilty about the hours spent commenting on other blogs (although it's often time well spent for a variety of reasons) and dicking around on twitter and facebook to try to lure people to read our stuff.  I think about trying to get it together and seeing if I could make a few bucks off of ad revenue, but I just can't find the time to even think about how to go about it.  And I don't even have a job! 

Every one of Dan's posts includes a paragraph or so imploring his readers to share his message through whatever social media channels they use.  Most bloggers do that to some extent, but he is particularly shameless about it.  I don't begrudge him that.  I just find it amazing that it doesn't turn readers off.  But again, I thought Titanic was schlocky.

Usually, when bloggers attack one another (something I have always found, and honestly still do find, childish), they don't link to their opponent's blog for fear that they will drive traffic to his site.  I don't care.  You should really check this out.  The guy is either the most wonderful, sincere dad, who has tapped into the curative rhetoric that will heal our ailing family of humanity (in which case I'm a wretched curmudgeon); or he's a devious salesman who has figured out how to prey on bad taste and emotional vulnerability to sell some ads.  It could well be a combination of both.

So why am I obsessing over this guy and spending valuable sleep-time ranting about him even though this type of thing seems so beneath my usual standards of good taste (ell oh ell)?  And, for that matter, what's up with all of the self-directed questions?

I'm not quite sure.  Mostly I can't help myself.  It's not like if I don't expose him as a fraud (which I have now completely convinced myself he is), he is going to harm people.  The worst that could happen is that he would get on Oprah and become the face of daddybloggers, and maybe get a reality show and a book deal, which wouldn't have any repercussions beyond making me grind my teeth down to nubs.  Probably he will just get a little attention on the various 'spheres, and then fade away as the rest of us should be so lucky as to do.

On the other hand though, he might become the Billy Idol of daddybloggers, making the rest of us cringe as he performs his grotesque caricature of our medium for an adoring public.

Oh, yeah.  Don't forget to share this post on Twitter, Facebook, your own blog, Net Flicks, Yelp, LinkedIn, Craigslist, AOL instant message, and print it out and staple it to all the utility poles in your neighborhood.  I just know we can get everyone in the world to be more cynical and suspicious if we all join together. 



Note to other dad bloggers who might normally give me encouraging comments:  I will take your silence as an indication that you agree with me or don't give a shit about my paranoid ravings.

197 comments:

  1. I'm a single dad and manage to post a lot.

    It's all in how you choose to ignore the needs of your children and put yourself first.

    It's a life skill, really.

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  2. ouch.

    He does drop a hellofalot of key words and phrases though. A bit too Saccharin sweet.

    If it makes you feel any better, you'll always be my favourite Daddy blogger. You know, apart from Sweet Juniper - and that guy just makes all of us look bad.

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  3. Now I feel totally guilty for starting my new store blog and asking bloggers to help me promote it!

    ;)

    I've had the same thoughts about a couple other 'blogs' here in the wondrous world of the Interwebs.

    I like reading 'mommy' and 'daddy' bloggers, but only if they have a real voice and some humor. Also, I have to feel connected to them in some way, some sort of common voice.

    People who run completely generic blogs don't have that 'voice' and because of that I don't usually read them.

    Good post though. Sometimes you just need to get stuff off of your chest.

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  4. I checked out that guy's blog a few months ago...and kept on moving. He looks like a dick to me.

    Just sayin'.

    For the record - I think you're an awesome writer/dad blogger (I do NOT normally read mom/dad blogs) and everyone is intitled to a rant or two.

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  5. He's a blemish. Arrogant, untalented, and so self-involved it's almost worthy of an intervention. He had me (feeling nauseous) at "I want to chase a dream."

    I'm very thankful that you've gone on this rant. I've been trying to read good blog writing in the hope of improving my own. It's been painful. Sometimes because, like you, I find other writers are just terrible. Other times, they are just so damn good that I find it tough to keep blogging. I realize each blog has its own flavor and not every blog is for every reader. But I do hope to write things that I love and find satisfying and to have readers who feel the same.

    SDL seems to want to write things that are thin and sugary. This jackass is infuriatingly saccharine. He's not trying to work through a writing process that imparts meaning, only takeaway maxims for the dull and unoriginal. There is no art in his writing. Though I suspect you're correct: there's art in spades in his marketing.

    So, hate on, hater! I'll join you in the SDL Unfan Club.

    PS-You're an engaging, polished writer and yours is one of the blogs I follow as a "How To Be a Great Blogger" blogs. Your writing is worth my time. Thanks!

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  6. Yeeesh. I checked out the link to that blog. I couldn't even get through the first post. I'm not buying it either. It seems really fake. I'd bet it's a marketing scam (or maybe a covert government agency's coded message to its operatives throughout the world. Watch out - when he posts about quitting his job hundreds of sleeper agents will be triggered to arm themselves. And when he announces that he's going to be on Oprah they will mobilize against us all.)

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  7. @Inertia--Hahaha. I meant to work something in about Sweet Juniper--like, "if Oprah handed over the reins of her show to Jim from SJ, not only would I NOT mind a bit, I would buy a TV and tune in every day." Thanks.

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  8. I just checked out that blog, and ... ewwwww. There is NO WAY this dude is for real. There is no way you can get that many comments after only three months. It's gotta be some kind of marketing thing.

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  9. Huh. I couldn't make it through the whole post either, but what I did read stunk of a pyramid scheme.

    The writing is pretty terrible, honestly. I don't know how he's changing so many lives, other than that people like to read dumb shit.

    I get mad at the Internet too sometimes. As the goat says, it ain't bad to get mad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93bOwDXAu4M

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  10. "I have received more than 4 emails from people telling me that my words have halted them from actively pursuing suicide."

    Give him a break, BD. He's SAVING LIVES. Somebody get this guy a cape!

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  11. Oh but he's changed my life! I read him every day and forward his posts to all my family with the subject "forward to twenty people or your lady bits will rot off!"

    Fuck him and the blog he rode in on.

    Also, if I'm not a mommy blogger can I still "give birth to glittering herds of unicorns?" Because that sounds awesome.

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  12. Beta ~ you were my first Daddy Blogger and you know what they say about firsts. :D As for Car Salesman Slick Willy Slides Up A Hill Faux Daddy Blogger ~ we should have DiPi (wearing his crocs) Dr. Cynacism (carrying the whisky) and you (in tights) take on the faux of the bloggersphere ~ you never know you might all three end up as a Happy Meal action adventure toy one day.

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  13. Lookee here, dawg. I was not aware that you had lured me here. When I found out, I became very upset. Then I remembered that I was actually lured to your blog by a hot chick, so I felt better.

    Number 1, fuck this guy. I'm not even clicking on his link.

    Number 2, you know what you are? You know in ninja movies sometimes there's that guy that's the best ninja in the world, but he lives in the woods because he's happy there? You're that guy. You're the best ninja in the world, but you live in the woods because the woods need a balcony to be built and shit. And that's ok.

    Number 3, you say the kind of stuff he writes is the sort of drivel that um, a particular sort of person falls for. Do you really want those people?

    Number 4, Look, I kinda like David Bowie, man. It's not my fault. I'm just a dude wandering the world, stopping to look at shiny lights.

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  14. I thought the idea of blogging was sort of an introspective thing. That's what it is for me, at any rate. I mean, I have two followers, and in four years if I'm still blogging and I have the same two followers, I'll be just as satisfied with myself. Because for me, it's about me. *hopes that doesn't sound like mindless jargon*

    As an aside, before I read your blog I honestly thought the idea of "Daddy Bloggers" was both gay and emasculate. You proved me wrong, dude. :D

    As another aside, "SDL" is a chach. "Nuff said.

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  15. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a shitbag exposed for what he is. But honestly, who are the real shitbags? This might garner some hate, but it's his readers. Who would continue to visit and read that egotistical verbal vomiting? So I partly, or mostly, blame the readers that drive this arrogant man's drivel. A simple supply and demand equation honestly... it's a shame.

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  16. Oh, barf.
    "Deep Powerful Content, Intelligent Humor, Sincere Followers, Change We Can All Get Behind."
    Also, anyone who refers to themselves in the third person as much as he does either has some mental issues or is a robot.
    I didn't have the time (or stomach) to look around the site to see if he had posted anything about why "Dan and Noah unexpectedly became bachelors for the second time." but I am betting not. Wife #2 and Kid #2 "unexpectedly" going missing does not seem like a story that would fit the Heartwarming Hallmark demographic he appears to be shooting for.
    It looks like his other job is photography, and I can tell you from experience if the phone ain't ringin' with photo jobs he'll have plenty of time to work on other stuff like hounding his readers to spam their friends for page hits.

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  17. Wow, you guys. I'm so moved that you are giving me so much support in assassinating this guy's character! I just re-read my post, and cried like a baby for half an hour. It was THAT powerful.

    For realz, though, thanks. I felt like a dick for just unloading on this guy. As always, I suspect myself of being in the wrong first. Your agreement makes me feel better about the whole ugly game of "j'accuse."

    Anyway, I'm super-tired now, and have to wash diapers, do the dishes, clean up the house and try to close my eyes for a minute before the kids wake up from their nap. Otherwise I would respond to everyone individually, then work on my search engine optimization, send out queries to potential sponsors, remodel my blog, and change the world.

    Frank--I have always thought of myself as a ninja building a balcony in the woods. Such a beautiful image. *weeping*

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  18. I get all riled about a couple of specific blogs/bloggers too now and then, but I've never had the balls to come out and say something about it. Good for you. I'm afraid to click because I don't want to add to my list of imaginary blenemies, but I can assume from what you've said that his popularity is manufactured, not authentic. You don't want that kinda thing anyway, do you?

    I think you're awesome, as always. Fuck pagehits. You know what they say: Mo pagehits mo problems.

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  19. Whoa, just checked out SDL's post about quitting his job - you're not even exaggerating about this guy. Scary, creepy, delusional. (I hope delusional.) Like you, I can take or leave the syrupy sweet 'heartfelt' posts, but the outrageous self-promotion makes me nauseous. It's so blatant that I almost wonder if it's a hoax....
    Folksta

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  20. @Steamy--As always, you are the wind beneath my muthahumpin' wings! And, hells no I don't want ill-gotten page hits. I would much rather build decks than write schlock for money or bloggy fame.

    @Folksta--I know, right? You kind of have to read it to believe it. Or not believe it.

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  21. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot believe that so many people have fallen for that scripted crap! Of course, women in general just ooze into mush puddles when they encounter a daddy blogger who is so damn perfect in their eyes.

    I think he writes well. I am floored he quit his job. I am peeved that he expects his readers to push him to fame and fortune. I keep reading, waiting for the inevitable train wreck of the male Deuce wanna-be. Eight years of on and off blogging...I know it's coming. I'm going to get the popcorn ready.

    BTW, loved your comments over there. Think I'll throw you in my feed reader. I like 'real,' not sugar-coated.

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  22. Clicked on through to one from someone elses post and couldn't finish it.

    Yes, that does sound pretty suspect to me as well. Hundreds of comments after only 3 months?

    I really know nothing about him, so won't make any judgements at this point. It will be interesting though to see where he is a year.

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  23. Having just moved out of Utah (lived there for 16 years) and Utah being #1 in Multi Level marketing companies, it is no surprise he has the amount of followers he does. Multi Level Marketing = Gullible in my book.

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  24. Check out his twitter stream. There's a lot of automatically generated stuff going on that is creating the huge number of "retweets" and, I suspect, the same thing is going on on Facebook. I have not gone over there to check, mind you, but I would guess that is what is happening. If that's the case, then it's probably happening with the comments as well, which means that, though there are probably some legit comments coming in as well, it's mostly just crap that's designed to make people think there's a huge audience there when there isn't.

    In short, it's bullshit. Not even P-dub grew that fast. And she grew FAST, man.

    Don't worry about it.

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  25. hm. I don't know what to think of all this. but if it made you feel better to write it, to get it off your chest, then rock on! that's what blogging is all about after all (in my opinion).

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  26. Wow. Geeze. Checked his site out. Could barely get through a single sentence, much less an entire post.

    Now I feel like I need to go kill a kitten or something. Or take a very, very long shower. Maybe both.

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  27. By the way, one thing I took away from reading SDL, was that I could probably stand to use more italics in my writing, because it seems to indicate how passionate I am about the things that I write about.

    So, I guess in that way, I can actually say that, yes, Single Dad Laughing has changed my life.

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  28. All of those comments, and that insane Twitter stream? This isn't a one-man operation. Who does he work for? Someone's pulling the strings. Follow the trail of M&M's.

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  29. I agree with Jason... there's a team behind all of that. Cheers!

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  30. Replies
    1. f--- off, dick.

      Delete
    2. You're so brave to post with no name. Jealousy is powerful.

      Delete
    3. You're so brave to post with no name. Jealousy certainly is a powerful emotion.

      Delete
  31. The guy refers to himself in the third person. nuff said!!!!!

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  32. P.S. Beta - It looks like your comment on the blog itself was removed. Interesting.

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  33. Thanks for the comments, everyone. I'm kind of tired of thinking about and picking on this guy now, but I'm relieved to see that you don't think I am crazy. I'm especially thankful to Alphabits Anna (ABDPBT) and Jason, who are a couple of the most knowledgeable pros in the parent blogging world.

    @Single Dad Laughing--I'm really sorry if your feelings are hurt, but you have to realize why it seems fishy that you have come out of nowhere and are suddenly claiming such huge numbers after only 3 months.

    From your blog:

    "# I have more than 12,000 followers on Facebook.
    # I have more than 7,000 followers on my RSS feeds.
    # I have more than 600 followers on my daily email list.
    # I have more than 1800 followers on Twitter.
    # I have thousands of followers keeping tabs via other methods.
    # I am now getting more than 130,000 page hits every weekday (less on the weekends).
    # I have launched four viral posts, one of them nearing almost 1,000,000 hits now (click here to read it).
    # I have received more than 40 requests to "co-author" a book with me.
    # I have received more than 1,800 emails to my personal email address.
    # I have received more than 6,000 comments on my posts.
    # SDL has been mentioned and linked on more than 5,000 blogs and websites." And it goes on...

    That shit is just unheard of. So, if your claims are legit, color me apologetic, embarrassed, confused, and insanely envious. But for now, I am highly skeptical.

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  34. It does seem quite strategic. The dude may be real, but I'm betting there is a cohort of writers.

    Didn't something like this happen in the mummy blogging world not so long ago?

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  35. Also, I just wanted to boast that the comment by "jdg" above is from none other than Jim from Sweet Juniper, my all time blogging hero. So screw a bunch of pagehits, book deals, and ad revenue--if this is the last blog post I ever write, I will feel like a success.

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  36. Is it very rude to call him a tool? Being that into yourself is just - I don't even have a word. I thought I married the most vain human being on the face of the planet. I just had to turn to him and tell him he lost his title, which not only upset him, but stunned us both to silence. So, with that said, I shall now refer to him as "Tool Guy" with the asinine blog.

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  37. I have been married to (and divorced from) a Baptist pastor and then a metal-head, self-professed atheist (and again divorced) and am now in a stable, loving and healthy relationship with a man who's willingly & lovingly claimed all my kids and my shitty baggage as his own (he might be f'ing nuts). So I know douche bags, posers & real men; and SDL definitely falls into the "real men who weren't satisfied with just being a good dad, so decided to hop on the poser, douche bag train."
    As a mommy blogger trying to teach my kids to accept ALL of their very human & erred parents...it just makes me sad.

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  38. I've seen other bloggers come out of the gates like that. They tend to burn out just as quickly. I've never heard of this guy, and I don't mean that in an I'm-too-cool kinda way, I just haven't. If you're spending that much time on your blog though, don't tell me your relationship with your kids isn't suffering for it, it's just not possible. Keeping up a blog takes time, and maintaining a following takes a lot of work. There's only so many hours in a day.

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  39. Amen. I just read that guy's blog and was completely suspicious. It seems so fake. So I googled his blog plus the term fraud and got this post from you. Thank you for validating my suspicions.

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  40. So, just coincidentally, he had to write about bullying - and post a poll about it - during the week that particular (key)word is all over the news? Something definitely fishy there. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with capitalizing on your ability to monetize your work, but don't pretend it's something that it's not. (And the wrong is... well, meh.)

    On the other hand, I actually had to stop and step away from the computer when I read "to attract the kind of traffic that would make the most famous mommybloggers spontaneously give birth to glittering herds of unicorns." (I hope the mommybloggers don't make you pay for that one...)

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  41. And by wrong, I meant writing... sorry!

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  42. That guy is the John Edward of the blog world. He's hypnotizing the Interwebs with his huge shiny white teeth!

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  43. At some point, when this doofus has 10 billion followers and tweets and 20 trillion emails and more products than he can possibly shill in a single lifetime, he's going to step out from behind the curtain, a la L. Frank Baum, smile, and say: "Suckers!" And he won't be publicly humiliated for the whole scam, because Oprah won't be around to make him apologize on TV. However, he may be able to successfully stage an emergency that requires all of his readers to wire $5 US to his bank account, before he disappears into the oil swamps of coastal Nigeria.

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  44. I'm sure you're already over this by now, but I'm completely obsessed.

    If you look at his Alexia rankings, you'll see that he's had a HUGE spike in traffic very recently. And the top queries (according to Alexia) are:
    buzzinabout_china
    freecash nothing to pay ever buzzinabout
    buzzinabout china.com

    Now, when I do a search for those terms, his site doesn't come up near the top, and I'm not really sure what that means.

    Yet... when you look at your site, among the top search queries are:
    bicentennial liberty pedant
    why parenting is a thankless job
    "mama sutra" article parenting magazine

    Not sure exactly, but maybe you should try some 'free cash in china' posts...

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  45. ps: I have to thank you, Beta Dad, for roaming far and wide through the dad/parenting blogosphere, which seems to have become kind of a scary and depressing place, what with all these mega-sites aping what their masters perceive to be the bankable trends du jour, or completely bizarre online debates about how dad blogs need to be more like mom blogs by selling lots of products or linking to ESPN. I simply had no idea.

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  46. pps: have you seen what looks like a relatively recent FB page dedicated to harshing on Single Dad Laughing? "Open Letters to Single Dad Laughing". Hey, maybe you started it? Kindred spirits, check it out.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=708018537&ref=profile#!/pages/Open-Letters-to-Single-Dad-Laughing/165094943506445?v=wall

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  47. He sounds like Oprah. If I read his blog will I get one of his favorite things... wait, he's single... and laughing... I may not want one of his favorite things.

    He's a bot.

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  48. I've never seen his blog. Don't really care. Being popular is actually pretty easy -- if you're willing to sellout and spam. Those of us who try to become popular the right way realize that it takes at least a few years of steady improvements to really capture an audience and build a base. The alternative is a lot of spam and paid advertising. I'd have to actually read his blog to know what he's all about.

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  49. I really can't type much, I have been very busy hitting your RSS feed button to try to get you over his 7,000 followers. I also need to create about 1800 twitter accounts, so I can have them all follow you.

    I have wasted too much time already typing this comment - I am actually going to make a video of this post and see if I can get it to go viral on YouTube.

    Wow, I have a lot to do tonight...

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  50. Oh, man. Thanks again for all the interesting comments. I'm trying to take the high road (for a change) and not obsess over this guy. I'm glad you guys are taking over where I left off.

    @Chicago Pop--the facebook page is intriguing. I'll have to check it out.

    @Dad Does--hahaha...I'm going to head over to your place and return the favor!

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  51. Thanks, Beta, for the kind words. Also, that was my most powerful comment yet.

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  52. I think I need to come clean. I'm Single Dad Laughing.

    Face.

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  53. Taking the high road. *bites tongue*

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  54. Let me get this right...You pull down your pants and take a shit all over some dude I've never heard of before on your free blogger website and you get 58 comments? I wrote about my mother's cancer and didn't get that many! Maybe I need to shit on someone on my blog!?

    Okay, all kidding aside...I'm FLOORED! So, I was all excited that I had almost 1100 followers on Twitter in under 12 weeks and I started my blog around the same time this dude did. I have great readers and some good comments but thousands??? 17,000 Fans on Facebook?? WTF!!?? How does he have 17,000 fans on Facebook and only 1900 followers on Twitter?? That doesn't make sense! I'm not following him because his timeline is filled with robotic tweets about his posts. Seriously, how does this site fill up with these comments?? I have never seen a blog like this, let alone a Dad Blog, let alone one that started in July. Something very fishy is going on here. I have never heard of this guy. His site looks awfully nice for only being up 3 months! It took me 2 months just to get a generic header off my site and this guy is selling T-Shirts?

    Look, when I read your post, I thought why is this guy (ie; You) wasting space on your blog crapping all over someone else? But then I went to his site and I'm in disbelief. I just don't get it...Somebody has to explain to me how this is possible and if it can even remotely be real.

    You know what I just realized? I just dumped all over your site as well in this little comment box. I probably spewed so many words that nothing I've said makes any sense so far. And now? Now, life goes on...I go back to my blog and so does everyone else. And this guy? He goes back into fairytale land because he didn't exist before and he doesn't now. Even if he does have 40 Billion Readers. I don't sound envious do I?

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  55. Scanned a couple of his posts. Why would someone who just left an "executive position" with a very high salary be renting out his basement to a family of seven? That simply makes no sense. He sounds delusional, as something else said.

    And ditto on his extreme overuse of italics. Words are supposed to stand on their own. I can't imagine someone posting a blog article the length of the one on bullying; he needs an editor.

    Another thing to remember is that he lives in Salt Lake City, about 95% of which is Mormon. Mormons are very tight knit and tend to enjoy treacle. Sorry if I sound anti-Mormon, but it's because I am. They funded Prop 8; nuff said.

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  56. Someone said there was a dog pile going on...

    I feel like Anna (ABDPBT) has the responsibility here of figuring out who Single Dad Laughing really is, and what makes him so very powerful AND handsome. I think it's time to set up a one on one Barbara Walters style interview. Possibly nominate him to be a CNN hero? There also needs to be a few side interviews conducted with "basement family" just to get some sound bytes about how SDL took ultimate mercy on them and opened up his basement to this family. Followed by a final interview with his old employer to find out how super bummed they must be that someone as rock hard rawesome as SDL got away from them.

    How bout it Anna?

    (full disclosure- A small tear formed in my eye while writing this powerful comment)

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  57. Uhmm I am feeling guilty about commenting. One excellent written post by Beta Dad who I did not really know about but have seen you around. and Two I have never heard of SDL. ever and I like to think that I keep my thumb on thepulse of dad bloggers. But then again..I am old school.

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  58. He kind of makes me want to vomit.

    I read some of his posts awhile back - funny. Now they're just... *barfs*

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  59. He's not really my style, but I am shocked he quite his day job to be a blogger. There just isn't great money in blogging. Seems like one would want to be pulling in significant dough via blogging before quitting one's job. That seems a little fishy to me.

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  60. What the freck is going on up in here? I'm reading through your comments a half hour ago (64! Holy shit!) and then I sign into blogger and there you are as Blog of Note! Nice work, Beta Dad! Who's laughing now, Single Dad? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW??!

    PS: Sorry, the coffee's taken over.

    ReplyDelete
  61. @Steams--Aaagh. Holy crap. I don't know what's going on. Thanks for alerting me!

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  62. I think that so much of growing popular on the web these days is a result of shameless self promotion. When you do it, you get more traffic and reader, but you do end up thinking that I have gone overboard.

    But I am sure that kind of traffic comes at a price. I still hope that in the long run integrity and actually being, um, interesting, is what matters most. The self promotion is often just a way to fast track it, but everyone is doing it and soon all that traffic is actually just the number of people who ignore what you are writing each time they open their feed readers.

    Good blogs need to stay interesting.

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  63. WOW, this was very interesting. I think you handled it appropriately though. I'm not going to check out this guys blog, because it clearly appears that it doesn't deserve my attention. The bragging and boasting that you posted was ridiculous, I feel bad if I put up a tweet mentioning a minor blogging accomplishment, let alone posting hit numbers etc. Thanks for the heads up and truthful discussion.

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  64. I too have a three month old blog and am flabbergasted that this guy has so many followers and comments. I think he must be part of a cult or something. Even with tons of shameless self promotion it is nearly impossible to build a following that fast!

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  65. So tell us how you REALLY feel about this other guy.

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  66. BetaDad,

    My name is Andrea. I am Dan of SDL's first wife and mommy of Noah. Just want to tell you that there is nothing fake or fraud about what Dan has done/portrayed on his blog. Dan is an amazingly talented human being. He has graphics, web, marketing, sales, design, photography, and art skills to name a few and has more passion than anyone you have probably ever met.

    When we were married, Dan started his own ebay business from scratch drawing/selling custom portraits for people and within 3 years we had purchased 2 homes together from that income alone (before either of us were 25). He achieves what most people would think impossible all the time and is an inspiration to many in REAL life...not just on his blog.

    Dan is an amazing father to Noah (and no, he does not have any other kids...he had a stepdaughter with his 2nd marriage... that would be the other kid you may have read about).

    Dan does have a lot of time on his hands because we have joint custody... meaning he only has Noah a few nights a week and every other Friday. As a recently divorced man who only has his kid half the time... he has a lot of time on his hands. He has gone through a lot of shit recently and has had some pretty rough days as you may or may not understand.

    You are probably a lot more busy than he is with your kids and family... imagine how much time you would have to dick around doing other things if your kids were at someone else's house 3-4 days a week. Ya think?!?

    I am appauled at the comments on this page targeted at a wonderful and talented human being that none of you know from Adam.

    If his ex-wife can say such nice things about him... you all should be ashamed of yourselves.

    <3 Andrea

    p.s. I have given you way more information than you need or deserve, but Dan is a long time friend and once husband of mine and it just sucks to see him treated like this... so uncalled for.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Andrea, this may be a little late, but what I think most people are trying to get at (me including) is how self-important he is. I acknowledge him as a marketing genius, but as a good writer?

      I do not say this with the intention of hurting anyone, but if I am to be honest, I have to describe it for what it is: cheesy, mass-marketed drab that the unwitting layperson will mistake for some universal maxim to individuation. I used to be a follower of his blog, and I had to unsubscribe purely because I felt he was trying to come off as wise, or some pivotal existence in our generation (well, he is a generation older than me but you get my point..) when all he really does is recycle old hallmark aphorisms while pushing the whole world to look through rose-tinted glasses.

      I was fortunate to have been surrounded by truth-seekers growing up, and even more fortunate to have been completely surrounded (and at certain points encroached) by those who ardently try to suppress the truth in favor of feel-good, transient fluff to fill the aching holes in our subconscious.

      I won't lie. I admired his story about the failed marriages, mostly because it was novel to me for someone to acknowledge failure in a divorce (during a time when divorce is commonplace and non-negative). Everything else however sounded demagogic. I mean, could you believe his post about dying for your beliefs? I even left a sardonic comment saying "not one sane person would die a martyr to prove to a dog that the world does in fact have color." I think that this analogy is not lost on intelligent people such as yourselves, but to some, including most of Dan's followers, his posts might drive them to a way of thinking which is so bigoted to me. Really? Die for your beliefs?

      Then there are pet peeves such as his disingenuous declarative one-sentence paragraphs. That's what pisses me off the most. How can something so cliched and artificial be so acclaimed and widely loved?

      Then again, it all comes back to what Dr. Cynicism was saying. Dan should not be attacked here. It really should be the gullible lay man who propels his existence into a transient zenith. As a very good Harrison Ford movie called Blade Runner once ran in a character named Tyrell, "The candle which burns twice as bright lasts half as long."

      Forgive me if I offend. That is not my aim. Like I said, I'm a very honest person and this is how I feel. I do admit I have some bias in here. I'm upset that someone who discovers life truths at age of 30 something is successful when I already knew them at the age of 11. I'm upset that a full-grown adult can be successful from poor writing when I was writing more intelligible theses at 13. Yes, it is plain jealousy, but I rationalized my post, and I know that what I say is true regardless of my qualms regarding Dan as an individual. Thank you.

      Delete
  67. Wow. Wow to the comment from Andrea, and wow to this post. I have never heard of Danoah or his blog, but I just went over and looked at it, and...wow. I had to laugh when I read his About section, about how his writing is "profound" and how many hits he gets!! Wow! He must be SO amazing! I'm glad he pointed out how amazing he is, because I wouldn't have noticed from just reading his articles.

    Honestly, what a douche-y blog it is. Sorry, Andrea, but your ex is putting himself out there for all of us to see, and he is really, really, really coming across as a douche.

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  68. So then, Andrea, why in the world would you have divorced such a passionate, successful, inspiring, wonderful amazingly talented human being (all your words, not mine)? That seems like someone no one would want to let go.

    I'm not attacking, I'm honestly just curious. I defend my ex too, usually to a fault, but you can't have it both ways---that he's nearly perfect but you couldn't stand raising your child with him.

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  69. A lot of interesting points have been brought up. I happen to follow SDL and can relate to what he writes. The last couple of posts with all the numbers and how great I am, I must admit, have been a bit annoying. Here's my take. The key as others have mentioned is he's Mormon. So if some of his numbers are real, it's because of the multi-level marketing thing. They are gods at that. Next, his job and his basement situation could be real. Mormons do a lot of good deeds. He may just be helping someone out. He may have set it up so he'd have income when he quit his sweet job. For anyone trying to figure this out, I may have a clue. I knew a guy in Salt Lake City who had a radio show in the wee hours of the morning. He would make up topics. Claim they were real newspaper stories. I never understood that. Maybe he's started a blog. Although, to be honest, his radio gigs never really went anywhere because legitimate listeners would figure out he was making stuff up and quit following the show. Maybe the blogging world is kinder.

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  70. @Andrea--As I said to Dan in an email, I'm not stoked about hurting anyone's feelings. However, there is very little in my post that I would change if I were to rewrite it.

    The stuff about whether he's a fraud and what his family life is like is all speculation on my part, and admittedly the weakest part of my argument. But I'm still really surprised that Dan (and maybe you, I don't know) isn't as dumbstruck about his meteoric rise to fame as the rest of us are. Maybe it's just par for the course for someone who is used to doing the impossible.

    Regardless of his methods of attracting readers/disciples, I still stand by my critique of his work since that's what irked me in the first place: that for whatever reason, a lot of people devour what I consider warmed-over self-help platitudes delivered with the cloying fervor of a Sunday school teacher.

    Dan is an internet superstar. He should expect critics. I was harsh on him, but hardly unfair. Some of the comments here have been pretty rough, but that also goes with the territory.

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  71. Middle class people (and their blogs) are boring as hell!!

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  72. @ Paul H: It would be impossible to relate to you why Dan and I divorced after a 7 year marriage in a random comment on somebody's blog. Dan is an amazing person. I believe I am an amazing person. We were always great friends but did not work well together as a married partnership for a number of reasons.

    We made the decision that we would be better parents to our sweet Noah if we were not married and that we would all have better lives with Dan and I as friends. I have since remarried and this marriage clicks better than my marriage with Dan. It just does.

    Again, impossible to relate our story in a comment. Guess you can just trust that we felt it was best for US.. Dan, Noah, and I.

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  73. @ Beta: "Maybe it's just par for the course for someone who is used to doing the impossible."

    You couldn't have said it better...

    As for the writing critique - everyone is entitled to their opinion... I guess we wouldn't be having this discussion if more than 70 people agreed with you and less agreed with me.

    <3 Andrea

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  74. Wow! What a post. Now I've got to go read that other blogger.

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  75. As a longtime follower of SDL, I have to say your comments are way off base. His powerful, amazing words touch my heart, open my eyes, and expand my mind. He has changed my life and I don't know what I would do without him. Your lack of understanding just goes to show how shallow and childish you are. I'm here to tell you, he is real.

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  76. Look! Somebody's already doing your marketing for you!

    http://www.zazzle.com/beta_dad_blk_hat_w_rear_tag_embroidered_hat-233837536900315113

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  77. Andrea, true enough. Again, I wasn't trying to be spiteful. Probably just nosy.

    That said, I'm glad someone else noted the Mormon connection. But I have to disagree that Mormons do a lot of good deeds outside their own community, which to me seems like the spirit of any religion. In my view they spread hate (what happens in CA really doesn't affect their base, yet they spent millions to strip my rights), though I've known and even dated a couple very decent Mormons.

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  78. i'm constantly confounded by what's popular and what's not. but i shouldn't be. kate gosselin is a star. we live in a vapid society.

    i could peck out of mice and men in my basement and never get a sniff from an agent while paris hilton could take a shit in a bucket and throw a three ring binder in it, then watch as countless, gluttonous publishing whores fight over who gets the right to present her with a seven figure signing bonus.

    sadly, the masses are asses. and it just is what it is.

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  79. @Billy Idol--I'm so sorry you feel that way. I would care more about your opinion if you hadn't betrayed me by becoming such a douche after Generation X broke up.

    @JCO--Oh, man. You're killing me. That's some quality kvetching right there! And I agree with it 100%

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  80. AGREED. Checked it out, and let's just say, nothing to write home about.

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  81. Agree, agree, agree, agree. Especially about Titanic.

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  82. The comments on SDL's second post ("Nyquil...!") today proves that something shady is going on there. Either he has the time to write a lot of comments himself, or he sends emails to other members of his congregation with clear instructions on the wording, structure, and talking points to use in their comments. About 90% start with "Dan Pearce, of Single Dad Laughing, is [the greatest thing ever/a miracle/a female magnet.]"

    That's an impossible coincidence. Dozens of people, one after the other, would not write their comments so similarly.

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  83. @leiamarie82 - i also agree with the titanic..
    im a dad too..kind of beta..hehehe

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  84. I actually couldn't care less whether Single Dad Laughing is real or not.

    Quite frankly, I'm too busy raising kids and not sleeping 23 hours of the day. If I'm lucky, during that one hour I have to myself each day, I might write a poorly worded, awkward, 6th-grade-level blog post about being a dad.

    SDL: real dads don't spend all day on Blogger, Twitter, and Facebook.

    They just don't.

    In ten years time, he can take solace in his millions of blog followers when he has no relationship with the one son he's ignoring now.

    ReplyDelete
  85. That was way harsh .... on Billy Idol and the Titanic.
    As a stay at home mama and a person who lives in SLC, UT, I wanted to slap him.
    Love your blog very happy you made blog of note!

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  86. Your comments make me sad. I weep for you because, like so many, many Gen X fans, you fail to relinquish the dream of the past and refuse to live in the now. If Single Dad Laughing has taught me anything over the many many, many days I've followed it (re-reading, re-reading, clicking again and again), it is that change can be painful, but also beautiful. After Gen X broke up, I was heartbroken. I was lost. Or so I thought. Until SDL's powerful, inspiring prose opened my eyes to it, I did not understand why I did what I did. But I realize now that my Gen X self was a mere caterpillar. And the cloak I donned thereafter -- the leather pants; the chains; the sweaty, heroin-emaciated torso and chest I now bear to the world -- represents my butterfly wings. Why won't you let me be my butterfly?

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  87. Maybe SDL's Tim Ferriss.

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  88. I started liking him back when he was little and his posts were real...but now its just kinda sickening and annoying. I hate how he writes about himself more than anything. I liked his blog because of his single dad status and the stuff that comes with it, because my hubby was a single dad, and we relate. But now its just all about SDL, and its getting frustrating. If he wants to play himself up, stop calling it a "dad" blog. Its not. Its a guy who let the rapid fame go to his head.

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  89. WOW! I'm with you. This guy looks like a douchebag, sounds (writes) like a douchebag. Something is fishy. All of the comments are basically the same thing. How wonderful and inspiring he is...The comments aren't personalized and they all read as if the same person wrote them and had a hard time trying to find a new way to say the same thing. Anyway, I gave him one page hit and it will be the last.

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  90. I've just visited SDL and can not believe the hype! Self-agrandizing, self-promoting nothingness. No depth or substance. It's mediocre, boring crap. Popular and shallow yes,just like Perez Hilton. And Andrea, pleeeeease!so full of praise it must be GUILT (still can't get over dumping the GREAT guy, I bet) Billy Idol, WTF? You appear to be either very gullible or drugged up (I suspect both) You are a fine writer, BetaDad and I shall visit your blog again and again. My conclusion. BetaDad: Well-written,funny and interesting. SDL: boring and cheesy (cross between Britney Spears and Pope Benedict) ;)

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  91. @Anonymous: If you would have read the Nyquil blog, you would have realized that within it he had a writing competition to re-write a paragraph and spin it with sarcasm. The example paragraph he gave was "Dan Pearce, from Single Dad Laughing..." Thus, why everyone who was participating in the re-write started with that sentence... idiot.

    I love how NONE of you have read his blog, more than a paragraph or two and just rip on him for the hell of it. Hope you aren't teaching your kids to behave like that toward complete strangers.

    @Idaho Dad: You said "SDL: real dads don't spend all day on Blogger, Twitter, and Facebook.

    They just don't."

    again...Dan has a LOT of time on his hands as I (Noah's mom) have him 3-4 days a week. Thanks for playing though.

    @Joe: You're right. I feel guilty. Douche.

    I'm in love with the group of people that follow you betadad. Negative energy all over the place just makes for a better world. You are accomplishing big things here. Keep up the good work.

    I think I'll head back over to SDL so I can smile today instead of be pissed. Even if he was 100% fraud... he posts positive things and doesn't make you feel like shit...that's why people flock to him.

    <3 Andrea

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  92. You have to admit... he's a little narcissistic. Have you read *my* post perfection, lately?

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  93. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." ~ Queen Gertrude - Hamlet

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  94. is his "poll" about bullying a direct result of your post? or was that thing already up before you posted this one? he seems like a total egomaniac (ie a toolbag)

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  95. @Billy Idol--You are dead to me. You may be a butterfly, but you are pinned to a cork board in a dusty display case devoted to betrayal and self-mockery.

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  96. Now I am sad for me. For your cynicism and negativity bind me to the past, checking my every effort to reach my full, beautiful potential as an artist and a human being: like Paul McCartney did with Wings, or Chris Hillman after the Byrds broke up, or Tom Petty with all those solo albums that created soundscapes so, so far beyond, so much more expansive than his Heartbreakers stuff. I pity those who remain ensnared in traps of their own making, like Mick Jagger or Bono, unable to escape the creative confines of bandom. I weep for them. But now I also weep for me. I must head over to SDL now where positivism reigns. They really know how to have fun--see the hilariously off the cuff antics of the sarcasm post. Goodbye cruel "Beta Dad," if indeed that is your real name.

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  97. @Beta and Billy - you're killing me! LOL, LMAO, LOFL, LOFLMA, LMAOOF etc.

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  98. @Billy Idol (Or should I say, Billy "Broad"?)

    Good day to you, sir. Or should I say "ma'am"? Because "Broad" is totally a girl's last name.

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  99. Wow, I never thought I'd like Billy Idol again.

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  100. I just saw his blog for the first time today and immediately thought something was up. No dad or mom bloggers get that many comments no matter how popular they are. I Googled "single dad laughing" and fake, and this post came up. Good job calling him out.

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  101. I found your blog searching his name and "arrogant" b/c I've seen this guy's posts linked on facebook lately (with enthusiastic raves) and they made me recoil almost instantly. I think he had me (the hatred) with "this post will make you cry!" and that ridiculous "perfection" post that invited us all to assume successful people are dying inside. And you hit the nail on the head with the titanic-esque schlock description. Good writing doesn't need the exclamation points and the neon flashing Good Writing sign. And yes, you're better. You made these points without sounding spiteful, and that can be hard to do.

    His bullying post was better, if only b/c the subject matter allowed for the drama, but STILL he ended it with "pass this on facebook and let's see if we can hit a half million!!" I mean promoting on a bullying post?

    I used to blog (still like to write, but won't blog anymore) and I remember meeting 2 well known local bloggers. One was normal, high functioning, although not quite how she represented herself. The other....spent a lot of time on her computer. While her kids did I don't know what? Like, A Lot Of Time. It is indeed an odd little world, blogging. I suspect he may just be something along those lines, gunning for success. I was wondering if he had any negative comments but I couldn't bear to muck through it....

    -IHaveNoBlogMom

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  102. I heart this post. It makes me feel better for what I've been thinking the past week... I'm glad it isn't just me.

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  103. Love all the drama. It's Bravo for blogs. Enjoying Beta dad's ability to laugh at himself. Dislike SDL's promise of humorous posts, but delivery of consistantly psuedo-deep blogs. And if what you write makes you cry, nut up. I have read a lot of his posts, but could someone link me to where he actually states that his writing makes him cry? For the record, I am going back to SDL and looking for his original posts before he became a blogger tycoon.

    Also, I like Beta's blog better and believe that he is a better writer.

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  104. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  105. Just got back from SDL's blog. The earlier posts were not self-absorbed or number conscious. They seemed a lot more genuine, but still not to my taste.

    @SDL (Yes, I know you're still lurking this blog based on your recent post):

    Constantly citing your three inconic blogs in your new blogs is annoying-you even have them at the top of your blog, for crying out loud. Too much to handle. Write something new and keep heading forward. Don't focus so much on your past accomplishments that you can't move on. You're losing everything that people liked about your blog, for some stange reason, in the first place. (Yes, a slight jab, but I honestly don't see what made it such a popular blog).

    That being said, I just blog because it is fun. I would not even dream that my blogs are entertaining to a mass audiance. It helps me unwind and be a drama queen about life events that were somewhat undramatic. I think it is tacky to post stats. What is the point of that? Who cares!

    @Andrea &
    @Billy Idol: it is a lost cause, give it up. You're bailing water in a sinking boat. You're not going to win. You should go to DSL's blog and tell him how great he is, unless you enjoy an arguement.

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  106. You're awesome! Since I work full-time & go to school full-time, I don't have much free time. When I need to take a break, though, I'm far more likely to visit your blog than his (from my perspective, it was vomit inducing)!

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  107. Just had to go and read his latest post. Well, actually, I just read the comments. Interesting that so many of the comments come from people with no blog or website, no avatar, and just happen to write with the same style and format, especially when commenting about the "funny name" their kids have for certain foods.

    It's so obviously fake. I mean, look at the fan posts on his Facebook page!

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  108. While I agree with everything you said, your post just gives more attention to the undeserving blogger. I say live and let live, ignore the garbage, and keep being real. I like your blog, btw.

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  109. I think I love you.

    I've watched so many of my friends become something akin to screaming Twimoms towards this guy and all I can think is, "You're really buying this shit?" I'll bet most of them (as I tend to hang around a crunchy granola bunch) would change their minds in a heartbeat if they saw that he wrote on FB that he is very pro-circumcision. What saddens me is that he's whoring out his kid because he's cute while making it all about him. Blog because it's fun, don't blog because you have an incessant need to be popular.

    And I have to say, I'm suspicious, too. His photos of himself are so posed, so pretty, and no regular Joe has his pulse on society THAT spot-on. I'm calling bullshit.

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  110. His comment now about how people are trying to "tear him down" was kind of funny. No, you're just nauseating. It is hard sometimes to not wonder if you are the only one who can't stand something that is seemingly popular. I get the need to vent about it.

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  111. Ha! I wish I could get 20 people to visit my blog, never mind 20 000 or 100 000... It is all in the marketing. He is on YouTube inviting peeps to his blog, he is on Facebook inviting peeps to his blog (do you know how easy it is to make friends on facebook? people like to be able to say 'I've got 5 695 friends'. The fact that no one knows anyone else makes no difference... Then you post a link to all those pages... and next thing the inquisitive human beings amongst us are going click click and finding your blog and can't resist commenting 'cos the little boy is SOOOOO cute and, who knows, as a single mum maybe this single dad will take a shine to me so I'll become a follower etc etc). You've got to take your hat off to the guy, he has decided that this is how he is going to make money and he is pursuing it at all costs. Apparently there is some woman on the net who is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS and has about 40 million hits a month on her site. All she does is post pics of what God (or evolution) gave her and the moola is pouring in... In fairness I think the guy is just doing what 90% of the web is doing - marketing a product. What I didn't like is the fact that a FLASHING CASINO ADVERTISEMENT popped up right below his son's lovely little face (well, almost)... so that's not really a good daddy thing to do, now is it? Nor is the fact that he plays daddy by using a timer, particularly when he is not a full time father. He's gonna have a blog and be on Oprah but the day will come when he and his kid are in therapy sessions if he's not careful. Typing 140 wpm? I'm a trained typist and I doubt that I could achieve that whilst typing and editing a blog simultaneously. But I wish both of you well. Particularly you, 'cos you've got fulltime double trouble. If your kids aren't on YouTube yet exploit them to the fullest!!! Enough. Now, would anyone like to visit my blogs (poetry and about South Africa) which have only been running a week??? I'm old and I need to start earning money. LOL. Not a lot to read yet. See, we can all market ourselves but not all of us have a product to sell... just our own tangled and mangled thoughts... Damn, I'm sorry this was supposed to be a comment, not a novel.

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  112. Whoops... amost published a second book...

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  113. First off I have done some research - I am very good at research when I get the time.

    A) a father who barely has one or two nights a week with his kids while working full time jobs really shouldn't call himself a daddy blogger. He is not a stay at home dad, nor is he even a full time father.

    B) Is Andrea real or is she fake dad blogger? She has no blog link, praises him way to much (sounding almost on God like reverence reminding me deeply of how he talks about himself on his blog) and the web link address on her page takes you to an advert - hmmmm.

    Since the drama on this post continues I thought I should repost adding in my thoughts to the responses.

    On to where I critique the man in question - He is a FAILURE! How in the world do these people think he is real or sincere is beyond me. He can't stay in a committed relationship, he does not raise the children. He plays with them for a few hours a week.
    Not enough that he has to deal with them sick and throwing up all night.

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  114. Love it.

    I just recently found Dan's blog and while I like some of the messages he has written about recently I think it's kind of bold to quit your job with no plan to support you family.

    Love your blog!

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  115. Totally agree with everything in this post beta dad. I have been through a couple of SDL's posts he comes across as a self-obsessed Moron (This view comes mainly from reading his post on bullying). I couldn't stand any of it, I don't understand how anyone can swallow that type of garbage.

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  116. Oh that ex-wife has got to be fake.

    Great blog!!

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  117. Just coming clean, I am the ex wife and Single Dad Laughing. You are all part of my plan to take over the world.

    Look through my profile and you'll see that I have 18 blogs- it is because I am amazing or exceptionally bored.

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  118. I'll take you over SDL any day! I've been waiting to see a post that was NOT singing his praises. Thanks for that! And very great blog by the way. Will be following you from now on!

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  119. Awwww, snap. It's ON! SDL versus Betadad. Deadlier than a Tijuana cock fight.

    I've got 200 pesos on YOU, Beta. Take that clucker down with a beak to the gullet!

    Seriously, this is the greatest rivalry since Alien versus Predator. (You're Predator, by the way.)

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  120. I left him a nice little message. He's not doing anything to help the world. How does getting 130,000+ views on your blog each day constitute changing the world in ANY way? He's just ridiculous.

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  121. 126 comments? Jesus! There must be something fishy about you, dude.

    Seriously, why worry about a club you wouldn't be caught dead in? How's he done it?

    Well, for starters he follows 2,000 people on Twitter. His timeline suggests zero interaction with any of them apart from relentlessly plugging his own posts. He's a businessman working hard at his business. Not my thing. I have no idea about the sincerity of his content or otherwise but it isn't something I'd choose to read. And I'm way too lazy to engage with the amount of equally self-aggrandising twitter and facebook accounts necessary to generate that kind of traffic. The proof? Look at all the "your ad here" markers. Ignore and go your own (wonderful) way.

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  122. Didn't you know that single dad laughing invented fatherhood?

    Found you through blogs of note and I love you already. Adorable twins too!

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  123. Agreed, entirely! And thank you for the comment on my own post about it. I would not be surprised if he isn't already working as a paid blogger for someone.

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  124. Serendipity. I read your post before a friend posted a link to read "sad dad". It was a real joy reading his "weeping" post after reading yours. I think I would have barfed otherwise.

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  125. I loved your post! I am not a Dad (well I kinda was while I was a single mother of two, who are now 30) I also read the sad dad and found him to be too sugary also, I kept thinking in my head that it was really a woman writing that blog! Honestly it is almost like looking at a male dressed as a woman, looks ALMOST real but something is just not right!
    Looking forward to reading more of your blog!
    Gia

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  126. Gwaa haa haa....thank you! Hillarious!

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  127. Someone sent me a link to that dude's blog. I was supposed to be moved by it. I was. Moved to inexplicable rage. So much so that I googled "Single Dad Laughing douchebag" and found this!

    THANK YOU. I wholeheartedly agree with your rant and appreciate that you posted it. I, too, don't really know why I find his blog so very irritating, but I do. I think reading, at the preface of a post, "This will change you" really put me over the edge. Holy mother of presumption. I was not changed except for being slightly more annoyed with a stranger than I had been a second before.

    Thanks for speaking the truth!

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  128. New to the blog sites in general here. I've got to say Beta, your blog and yours alone prevented me from taking action on the suicidal tendencies I felt after reading SDLs posts. Honestly, I thought I was one of the only 4 people who dont believe SDL is Jesus reborn. The posts started off normal, then his soapbox grew to staggering heights. "you Need to do this" "you have to do that, because it will change the world!" argh! At least he's modest....

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  129. Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier!

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  130. I think I love you.

    I have a Blog of the Week feature on my page and featured SDL the week before his blog exploded. It didn't take long for me to regret that feature.

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  131. I think saying the Mormon community is behind him is a bit ridiculous. I'm Mormon, and I'm not! He used to read my blog, which was nice, but he always linked to his own blog in the comments. THAT IS MY NUMBER ONE PET PEEVE ABOUT COMMENTS. I think I'm going to start deleting comments that link to their blog.

    I love this post. (Sorry, SDL. You commented on my blog for a while, but after you stopped, that gave me a reason to not read yours anymore.)

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  132. I found his "Perfection" post and I think that is what reeled a lot of folks in. I think what he said in that post was very relevant and returned to the blog for more of the same.

    As some time has passed since that post, I've been strangely bearing this feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I started to feel like something was just odd about the whole thing-and the post today-I just felt like it was sort of..."here we go, leading the lambs to slaughter" when I saw a "donate money" button and a very kind of vague post about doing awesome things that I did not understand.

    I think some of these comments are a bit vicious, but I think everyone has the right to be skeptical, and I'd be curious as to what you make of this latest post asking for money donations.

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  133. A facebook friend shared a link to his post about bullying (which I found interesting), but then I looked at a few of his other posts and wanted to gag. I'm very suspicious about his donation button, and I hope others are too.

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  134. @Kittycatchops & Anon--

    Really? You think it's suspicious that he would start asking for your money to fund an "amazing" project that he can't tell you all the details about because its a superfun secret?

    (In case you are not practiced in the ways of the cynic, the above was what is known as sarcasm. I'm also suspicious of his big capital campaign, but not surprised that he launched it.)

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  135. I just noticed his "30 Personalities of Facebook" post. What a hypocrite. He writes on the horror of bullies, but at the same time takes a significant amount of time and effort to make a video MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE. What a tool.

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  136. I must be living under a rock because I never heard of his blog until today - and I'm embarrassed to say I have now spent at least two hours of my "valuable" time trying to get to the bottom of the SDL phenomenon. Perhaps I don't know a good blog post when I read one, but I found his excrutiatingly tedious to read and had to skip ahead to the end of most posts - the end being the shameless begging for shares on Twitter, etc as you mention above. YUCK.

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  137. I think I just got banned from SDL's site. I left some comments that were critical, his sister responded to one, and I responsed to her. No name calling, foul language, threats, or the like were written, but it irked her weeping brother who emailed me to ask me never to comment again and then started going through his comment system removing every remark I have made in the last week or so.

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  138. @Michael, I thought I was the only one receiving sly, nasty emails on the side.

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  139. This is weird. I've never understood the appeal of mommy-bloggers and daddy-bloggers, but then again I don't really read them much I guess. And maybe it's because all my kids are grown and on their own. It seems like it would be pretty boring to read about somebody elses kids. But you are an entertaining writer and maybe I need to read more posts before I make any judgements about the content of this blog.

    And you've got a lot of comments and have a lot of followers so you must be doing something right. So I'm off to give this Dan guy another hit and see what the big deal is. I mean surely I have better things to do, but now I'm curious.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  140. My takeaway from all this is: This guy, and his first ex-wife Andrea, like themselves an awful lot. A LOT. We are simply too inferior to them to understand their amazing-ness.

    Listen, SDL: If you're awesome, you really don't need to go around telling the whole world how awesome you are all the time. Just a thought.

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  141. YES!! I feel exactly the same way and it's SO nice to find others who feel similarly. I agree with your thoughts 100%. SDL is so weepy it makes me want to gag. I've never read a more self-obsessed, oh-look-at-how-sensitive-I-am syrupy-sweet tool.

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  142. While I often get these same emotions,(Were all Human), I try to live by the Mantra "Don't Be A Hater". regardless of how "REAL" anything is, people often follow in a herd mentality onto the next Big Thing.(Just look at Glenn Beck for Christ sake's). But if they can lead the herd of mindless beasts, then good for them. Just keep doing you, regardless of what others are consuming. With Individuality its not that everyone has to Get you, because only those that Should "Get you", Do "Get you"!. Punk for example:

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  143. I think he also knows how to tap the Herd Mentality in the aspect that People want to feel like they are part of a movement, part of something bigger....Just like Cults and/or Oprah.

    ;)

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  144. Heavens. That blog just gave me internet cancer.

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  145. That dude is to dad-blogging what (I'm sorry - I can't help myself) Dooce is to actually funny women with actually cute kids who hate to be called mommy bloggers.

    M&Ms will kill you.

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  146. In a whisp of boredom (and serious sickness from staring at my own blog) i clicked your link from blogs of note. I think it was the fact that your title is Beta Dad but your real url is butterbeanandcobra which led to a wtf? moment in my mind and suddenly you were a MUST READ

    anyway, i only read this and scanned a few other post but i actually laughed out loud several times, prompting my boyfriend to ask what exactly I was doing. i responded "just reading some blog about a dude who has twins...he's hilarious". so there you go...toot your horn, even a 22 yr old girls think you're funny.
    I can only hope my future baby(ies) daddy go through fatherhood with the kind of humor and grace you do oh so well.

    oh yeah, i almost forgot, i couldnt even get through that d-bag of a dude's about me. SERIOUSLY

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  147. Admittedly I can't write good content to save my life. Most of the blogs I read are dull and informative as the content contains web development snippets and tips. But occasionally I treat myself to reading what real people are saying because most of my human exposure is my three super young children. It's a nice break to see what a grown up is talking about once in a while. So I ended up on SDL's blog and was blown away. Reading deeper I soon realized my ass was becoming a bit chaffed from the effects of too much sunshine being blown up it.
    I started noticing what all your commenter's have already mentioned eg. Self worship, worship me, enable other worshipers to find my blog... etc. etc.
    Then it occurred to me that I was reading exactly the same content, writing style and tactics I've deleted for the last decade. The douche is roping the masses exactly the same way those damn email chain letters have been doing it. At least he isn't claiming you will be cursed with some sort of awful medical condition if you don't forward a copy of his text to everyone in your address book. At least not yet.
    I found this blog via Google when the raising hair on the back of my neck began to cramp and I had to find out the scoop on this man with the missing sac. I fully expected to be able to link his name with Amway or some other outfit that produces those "powerful" motivational speakers. Whatever the case... he'll step on his dick soon enough and the world will see they've been duped. I've wasted enough sleep time last night, that shouldn't of ever been traded for "me time" in the first place.
    I do like your blog Mr.Beta, I'll be back. You're my kind of people. Is it TMI to mention it took me 14 hours to read your article and each comment it has, since I discovered it? Real dads put other things first... constantly, repeatedly, period. It hasn't dawned on SDL that some people have basic math skills. Reading, authoring (powerful shit), promoting, SEO tuning, spamming, working the social networks, emailing, analyzing stats, boasting about stats takes a HUGE chunk of time. Something a single dad (even if part time) can't possibly reserve for himself.

    Should I mention... actually I need to mention simply to defend myself. I, at this moment have no idea what the heck my original point was when I began writing this very comment 3 hours ago was? I've been chipping away at it a little at a time while trying to be a halfway decent dad/house-husband/chef/Dr./dog-walker/schoolbus-chaser/butt-wiper/phone-answer'er/bill-payer. I've already begun to loose what marbles I have left, and the lunch routine is still a hour and a half away. At any rate... my "me time" has long expired, with no hope of reclaiming until after the kids have gone to bed. I'm voting for sleep tonight so I won't be considering revisiting this pathetic attempt at a comment. So at risking making a complete asshat of myself and posting without a single proofread I must be off to the shower to bathe at breakneck speeds because this is my one shot at getting one at all today.
    Have I mentioned I might suspect SDL couldn't possibly wear all those hats he has on, and wear them so "powerfully perfect" as only he can do, in a mere 24 hour day? I shall work very hard not to envy that douche.
    Crap... I misread the clock. I'm screwed. No shower today. Gotta run, I'll check back at some point before the kids move out.

    Cheers,
    Lee

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  148. Wow, that was so powerful. I'm writing Oprah as soon as I post this. I had been thinking Thomas Kincaid painter of light sort of pablum for the masses... But you said it in two words, Air Supply.

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  149. @Milkstained! I hate Dooce too! *internet hug*

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  150. I'll be curmudgeonly with you, but only if you write to Oprah and tell her all about it... })i({

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  151. I found your blog because I did a google search to see if anyone hates that guy as much as I do. What an ass, I don't know how people read his arrogant posts everyday. I read one about a month ago and every other one I've read since has gotten worse and more annoying. He basically tells his readers how much they suck and how much better he is every day and they just keep coming back for more.

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  152. So I went and had a look, started to read, and threw up a little.
    What a smuck.

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  153. This is funny 'cause about a month ago I wandered onto his blog through a tweet. The thing about Twitter is that it's kind of obvious to tell when someone is being treated a minor blogging celebrity (hope this makes sense but it could just be me...) Anyway, I was curious "WOW another celeb blogger that people go gaga about? Let me check it out 'cause frankly I need MORE blogs that I need to read so I can ignore my kids 100%, instead of the current 99%!" so I checked it out. I was amazed by the number of comments (I think it was one with 1000+) and he did not even have to call his son gay! (OK. I hope you all know the post by a mom blogger that I'm referring to otherwise this may sound extremely, unnecessarily mean and un-PC... which, I swear, is totally not my style...) I became puzzled very soon... I should stop here since I aim to be a nice and kind person.

    My first time here. Hi. Hope you are ok with run-on sentences and rambling.

    FWIW, I adore this: "spontaneously give birth to glittering herds of unicorns". Not the actual ACT but the simile.

    Don't worry: I am not a stalker. Actually, between you and your wife who is a DOCTOR? I probably have the hots for your wife instead. I have this thing for intelligent women... ;-)

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  154. I agree with The Boob Nazi. I'm Mormon, I'm from Utah, and I think this guy is a tool. Not to mention a fair amount of my friends on FB are Mormon, and only two of them "like" his page. Plus, he says he not even Mormon.

    But anyway, he drives me crazy to no end. I think you covered a lot of my feelings about him, so I won't say too much. He seems caught up in catch-phrases, and seems to only blog about things that are popular at the time to boost hits. Who freaking cares. To say that he is narcissistic is putting it nicely, I think.

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  155. Oh, and another thing. I find it pretty comical that SDL and his ex-wife are on here complaining. Look--if you are on a quest to become popular and change the world, then get ready for a hefty dose of criticism and skepticism. Especially if half of your words just boast about yourself. Be a man a grow a pair!

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  156. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I had no idea how I was going to do to fill up the rest of my afternoon at work. Certainly not....work. 161 comments?? How could I resist? Thanks betadad. (and of course....everyone else for their comments)

    Oh yeah....that guy and his blog blow goats nuts.

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  157. Thanks for linking his blog, I feel really dirty right now and that's OK because I haven't taken a shower today.
    You are right. He is smarmy.

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  158. This here is another example of traffic generated. Don't get me wrong I know ways to do that too but I have so much pride in earning people's approval on my own. Sadly I don't have that now...I mean, the approval. Seriously, we'd like to believe we can get traffic and "likes" just being ourselves in a short time (probably 6 months). But shit happens. That somebody did his job (to get people over his site) is that somebody's own business. Period.

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  159. found this post when googling "why is SDL asking for donation"...on his new blog will work 4 followers, he has a donate button...WTF...if you cant afford to quit your job to stay hime and write a blog...then dont!!! I will never read his blog again....so tacky.

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  160. Your personal attack had me tickled to my toes. FINALLY, someone else who finds him as ridiculous as I do! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  161. I have nothing awesome/funny/insightful to add, but just want to let you know I'm reading. (We met in NOLA.) And I'm sure that there's something fishy going on, despite the testimonials to this guy's talent. Many of us have talent, and have even pooled our resources with others with less measurable "success".

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  162. I came over after the link was put on FaceBook. I can't believe I missed this post the first time it was published!

    In any event, I think a suspicious, open dialogue is healthy. It's what separates us from the Cold War Communists.

    And as for SDL? I just have a problem endorsing or reading a "writer" with so many rampant grammatical errors.

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  163. Ugh I completely agree with you! I couldn't even make it through one post..."picking strawberries in England..." VOMIT

    And now he has a book! I will not ever buy that book. Maybe someone will give it to me and I can have a ritual burning.

    He reeks of fakeness. And way too many ad banners. True Hollywood, eh?

    I like your blog way better. I'm not a momblogger, but I do have a thing for unicorns...

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  164. Curious to your thoughts on Dan setting up a paypal button for his readers to donate monthly too? You know, cause his blog "is his gift to the world"...
    I.am.in.shock. are people really this stupid to donate to him?

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  165. I really hate to be a cynic, but Dan is now asking people for money to help support the $219 a month for his hosting fees...

    And people are just opening their wallets...

    I don't think his writing is bad, he is a bit self important--but the message is positive...

    But since I had a online "friend" who was shades of "The Night Listener", who totally had me believing she was a dying 14 year old girl (no I didn't give her money, thankfully), I am VERY wary...

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  166. As if I needed more reasons to love you more. I can't believe I didn't see this the first time. Shit.

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  167. SDL is a legend in his own mind. Thanks for saying what SO many are thinking. I will never drink the SDL Kool-Aid. He is so full of it!

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  168. I heard about what he did…his choice to give up everything (including his son's financial security and the ability to make mortgage payments- which he no longer does, as his house is in foreclosure and he's still not applying for jobs) to pursue a dream based on one post going viral.

    I know a lot of bloggers with viral posts that kept their day job (and thankfully so, since that ends). I think the main issue here is a "SINGLE dad" and a huge blog following of females who apparently ask him and aggressively defend him. I have a feeling if his blog was called "A Dad Laughing" or "Married Dad Laughing" there wouldn't be such a big following.

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  169. My favorite part of his post is "how much his magical words have changed peoples' lives, and how he plans to change the world." BLECH!!
    I am so pissed how he has lied and stolen (yes that is how I feel) from his readers by asking for money to keep his drivel up & running.
    His sure is a Single Dad Laughing... all the way to the bank.
    Your post is amazing.
    Lorie Shewbridge
    http://wmljshewbridge.blogspot.com
    LJSBlog@aol.com

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  170. Love it. I don't know anything about blogging but I love reading your blog. Down with Dan.

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  171. God I love people, they are amazing.
    I've read your post and the comments and you've really got me thinking, even more than single dad laughing did ha!
    Whilst I was reading his posts I did happen to think 'surely other people have said this stuff before. Why's he so popular?' his writing isn't that good but if it's for real - that he's making people's life better then that's good huh?
    I wanna believe he's making the world a better place and really some people just don't like anything 'nice'.
    Now I read your post - which was well written and made me smile without crying, I'm thinking he could be bullshit and that maybe he's got so popular because he says he has (people love to be part of the crowd).
    Funny that you're getting popular off his popularity - that's what got me here...You could be just jumping on the bandwagon...OMG it's all...conspiracy...everything...a...conspiracy

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  172. And now he's broken up with his current "flavor of the month" girlfriend, at a time when she probably needed him the most. What a douche.

    http://www.businessofbrandy.blogspot.com/2012/03/oasis.html

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  173. I just came across your site for the first time, after coming across Dan's site for the first time. It immediately seemed like a fake to me (of course I don't know any more about you than I do about him). Here's why:

    -lots of keyword phrases
    -lots of what look to be purchased stock photos (if the post is about a dog, inevitably the picture of the dog looks like it could be the front of a greeting card)
    -Ad placement on the home page
    -Super slick design
    -Posts that seem to have every element necessary to tug on the hearts of the widest possible audience.
    -Generic as all get out.

    Gonna go read some more. I hate being this cynical and suspicious. On the other hand, gullible people need detective friends.

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  174. Found this while searching for info on this Dan Pierce fellow after seeing one of his articles posted to facebook and reading a few other things from his website. My child is asleep now, so I can afford to do that (while I procrastinate doing taxes). Anyway, Dan's blog rubbed me the wrong way after reading two things on the site. As you mentioned, the writing is terrible, wordy, verbose, and completely designed to play on your emotions. It reminds me of get rich quick schemes. Anyway, thanks for confirming what I was thinking.

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  175. I find it despicable that he has the following he has, considering how tacky and disingenuous his writing is. For instance: I write declarative one-sentence paragraphs to help you visualize just how powerful my writing is (cliched much?). Not to mention, his take on controversial topics are just recycled plastic bottles waiting to be reconsumed by the gullible masses. I hope that metaphor is not at all lost on you, and the fact that I felt I was a better writer at the age of 11 than he is now just adds insult to my sorely injured pride.

    I could list other flaws, such as how he pretends to write about a friend then magically weaves it back to his life story (there's a difference between writing an internal, philosophically catabolic experience regarding an extrinsic issue, and just using that issue as a prelude to your's). I also do NOT want to mention how his conversations with his friends sound suspiciously like conversations with himself, BUT I digress.

    My biggest problem I guess is the fact that his success is a sordid reflection of our society. Yeah, Dan writes poorly. Yeah, he markets crap and flat out lies to his fans, but does he actually coerce his fans into liking him? Yeah there could be manipulation, but in the end nobody can make that horse drink the water you oh so graciously led him to. Those people who follow him tightened their own nooses. THEY condemned literary integrity and the value of true analytic depth.

    Those are my two cents.

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  176. Finally! A blogger who can actually write! I've only been to dans blog once and couldnt make it through an entire paragraph.

    There are a lot of stupid people out there, that's probably the main bulk of his readership.

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  177. I read his blog for a little while - must have come across one of his sponsored posts but unsubscribed from his rss feed, can't even remember why but I obviously didn't want to keep reading.

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  178. I don't like SDL.. this post was referred to me by a friend that knows SDL grinds my nerves.

    However, if you put HALF as my time and effort into improving your own shitastic blog as you did trashing SDL, you wouldn't be so green with envy. #JustSaying

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  179. I'm betting this is the most comments you've gotten. Ever.

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  180. I, too, found this via google, because I was struggling to put into words how much he irritates me, and wanted to see what other people had to say. His post on what he wished he done while married was particularly gross. He comes across as a classic narcissist, but he's savvy enough to put the right words on paper, so people fawn over him. He makes it pretty clear how he's twice divorced, with minimal custody.

    (And I wonder, too, if the apparent ex-wife who has no other internet presence and has never said another word about him publicly, is actually his ex-wife, or him shoring himself up.)

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  181. Thank you for this post. I've followed SDL for about 6 months (found his blog through a friend). All I can say is...puke! He's been married twice and has employed his new girlfriend to help with the blog. From what I read, she quit her job in the medical field to work for this douche. Look at the photos he posts, 99% of them are of him and her, making goofy pouty lips. I can't help but think what a mistake it is to be this serious about a girl when you are a single dad. He rarely posts about Noah anymore, it's all about him. He recently posted about how Hershey paid for him, his girlfriend and Noah to vacation there for free. Guess I won't be going to Hershey anymore! This guy is an egotistical douche.

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  182. Well, I for one LIKE the Single Dad Laughing blog. I think your post here attacking him was mean, unnecessary, and a bit of a jealous rant. I don't see what harm he could possibly be doing and I especially don't see what the hell his blog has to do with the author of this post or with ANY of the agreeing commenters. So what if he is an emotional guy?? So what if he has more subscribers, more hits, more comments than you?? Seems like you could take your cold, black, fried-up little heart, breathe some life into it and maybe TRY to be happy for a fellow blogger whom has a achieved a fair amount of internet popularity.

    The SDL blog has a lot of good content...and a lot a proper grammar, which is MUCH APPRECIATED, unlike many many other blogs in the world of blogs. SDL, for all of the blogs that *I* have read of his, has *never* complained about the writings of another blogger which had nothing to do with him.

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  183. I really enjoyed this posts and it says exactly how I feel about Dan. I was wondering how the heck I could be the only person feeling this way about Dan, and now I've hit the Fanclub of "We don't like Dan". I am joining!

    I think Noah is cute but Dan is just to much in love with Dan

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  184. Glad I found you Beta and plan to stick around. For shits & giggles we will refocus the moneymakerspy scopes on SDL and let you know if he is a real deal or just right guard over stinky pits.

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  185. Nope, he's horrible. His posts are intentionally written to make people go "Awww" and hit "Like". They're full of syrupy sweet nonsense and so many half-truths I'm surprised his sheeple can't see through them. You definitely do need to make a decision between being an excellent father and being an excellent blogger, 'cause you can't do both. Maybe settling for good blogger and excellent father is a nice compromise? I stumbled onto your blog through another that linked to you today. Your writing is sharp and fresh and funny, and your stories are gold, because they're real and they're evidence you actually parent your own children. Keep being "good". :)

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