I did a total hatchet job on this guy yesterday, and now my blog is blowing up like crazy. I'm not surprised that my meanest-spirited work would be my most popular, but the layers of irony are quite deep. I won't try to penetrate them all, as I normally would, in my navel-gazing way, but the main irony is that I went off on this guy because I was suspicious about how he got so much traffic on his mediocre (let's face it) blog. He ended up emailing me and saying that I had hurt him real bad, man, and that a lot of his success had to do with "The Secret," (he wrote all about it on his blog today) as well as his whole positive, empowering message blahblahblah. And he said that I could get the universe to do my bidding too, if I would only watch "The Secret" on DVD, available through Amazon.com for $9.99. Meanwhile, I manage to get a bunch of traffic on my little blog by sneaking up and shanking the biggest guy on the cellblock (that thing I just did was a gangsta metaphor--something we mommybloggers love almost more than unicorns.) See. Irony.
So I feel a little dirty about the whole episode. Which is not to say you shouldn't read yesterday's attack. You should. But that's not what I normally do here. I write a lot of too-long-for-the-genre funny/reflective/irono-serious stuff, stories about kids and dogs, sanctimonious social critiques, and post lots of pictures and videos of the cutest freakin' twins in the world. Like so:
The universe has already done my bidding, yo.
Congrats to you, the twins & the universe. Screw the book.
ReplyDeleteOhhh "The Secret." It all makes so much more sense now.
ReplyDeleteCongrats. I love when good things happen to good people.
I went to your blog when I saw you on Blog of Note (congrats by the way), and it was still at yesterday's post. I couldn't stop laughing at the irony of it all. Bash a blogger = become Blog of Note.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, at least you complain in the most persuasive way! Love the back story of your punk teenager days and referencing it to why you are going to proceed to bring down the terror on someone else's blog. Go on wit yo bad self, Beta Dad!
Ah, The Secret. Of course. Suddenly that guy's weirdness has a context.
ReplyDeleteCongrats -- I predict many new Followers for you.
Obviously, I need to pick a blogenemy and bash the shit out of them. Then, I shall get the recognition I so richly deserve. Thank you Master.
ReplyDeleteSigned,
Grasshopper
P.S. That guy's blog made me want to yak. I'm all for positive thinking and getting the Universe to do my bidding but not by being nauseatingly saccharine. Job well done, sir, job well done.
cute blog. congrats on being a blog of note!
ReplyDeleteplease follow my blog http://jenniferscavone.blogspot.com
Ciao!
Congrats on being a blog of note, you mean spirited gangsta, you!! I'm kidding! I read yesterdays blog and thought it was great!! Your latest post makes it even better! I can't stand all that "be one with the universe" crap!! GREAT JOB!!! (I'm jealous...maybe I'll make a mean post about YOU!) :)
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!! A very devious plot indeed, Beta Dad.
ReplyDeleteIn support of you as the Blog of Note (I appear to be a fair-weather follower), I have not read the dadblogger in question and I am now terrified to do so. I don't want to know The Secret, nor do I wish to contact Oprah or Ellen via command of another blogger.
Thanks for the head's up
By The Way - Beautiful Babies - wish mine were still that young
Here's the thing. I can forgive him for writing his blog is "SO much more than a daddy blog." And I can forgive the shameless whoring. And I can forgive the "Send me candy and I'll link to your website."
ReplyDeleteBut when he writes a post about how everyone here offended him, and he links to the Amazon page of The Secret, does he really have to use his affiliate link? For me, that's proof that nothing is sacred for the man, other than another opportunity to make a Dime.
Saying all that, I have to say I agree with him 100% on one point. I, too, am an advocate of "women loving themselves."
you are like an internet ninja with all your sneaking and shanking! congrats on blog of note as well! i must say that i think you may have given many of your readers good cause to check out dan the douche-knuckles blog if for no other reason than to point and laugh.
ReplyDeletei really want to go there and do just that but i refuse to give him anymore blog-hit-masturbatory-fodder than he's already SO busy with.
I came via Blog of Note... Congrats first...Secondly, I saw the book 'The
ReplyDeleteSecret" and was not impressed at all... Most of what was said to me was just plain common sense- not rocket science.. Does that make me a cynic?
Wow. I don't usually care for Daddy or Mommy blogs. But what do I know, I have a freaking quilting blog! I always check out the Blog of note, though. Did you see the cat lady yesterday? Holy shit! Anyway, I loved your post, and no doubt about it, those twins are really stinkin' cute!
ReplyDeleteI have to ask, since that guy is clearly not right in the head, aren't you a little bit worried that you may have put yourself in the crosshairs of a real nutjob?
oh yeah........check me out! HA HA HA!
imakwiltnoob.blogspot.com
Beta Dad, Love the blog! I am neither a parent or a man so I'm as far from a daddyblogger as anyone could be yet I find my mouse hovering over the Follow this Blog button. Ahh the reasons I love your blog... May I count a few? 1. I laugh out loud as I read it (this is hard as I am a very weary reader I preffer serious non fiction work). 2. You are obviously about something other than your blog (your children!). There are too many blog obssesed writers and readers out there. 3. Ad Free Content! Yes Please! 4. You don't give a damn what others think of you, hating on an other blogger whom has lost sight of his objectives and got caught up in the Candy Coted Blog Mill. Thank You, Regina
ReplyDeleteps. I'm from Mt also and only the rough and weary return there for vacation.
I also arrived via blog of note and wish I hadn't. Perhaps you ought to ask yourself why you felt bad about posting the previous entry, and why you felt compelled to crush a fellow blogger (marketer or not) when he is of absolutely no consequence to you.
ReplyDeleteReally, is this what you'd want your daughters to read?
You have some skill all right--pretty polished--but sorry, that rant didn't shine.
I was just getting a link to Blogger for a friend when I noticed you were featured, so I checked out your rant, then Laughing Dad or whatever it is. He seems to be someone who's extremely sensitive and bleeds for everyone, which must be really exhausting. Personally, I like snarky, ironic humor, so I like your sensibility and writing style. That said, your rant reminds me of some of the stuff I've posted to Reddit when I've been in a bad mood (or drunk), and then had to duck the slings and arrows the next day. But it's still enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteRock on Beta Dad. Good stuff. I'll be following you from now on, I've enjoyed what I've read so far. If you get a chance, check me out, but I know you're busy...so no biggie if you don't Cheers
ReplyDeleteDerek
http://4lackofabettertitle.blogspot.com/
how freaking adorable are your twins? and they're getting so big. so not cool, man.
ReplyDeletealso: you're so hardcore.
I also found you through blog of note, and I have to say, that I laughed out loud at your posts. You are a very skillful writer and I appreciate your ironic tone. Keep it up! What is beautiful about this is that you didn't MEAN to call attention to yourself by bashing the other blog. Go Beta Dad!
ReplyDeleteI am so confused about that guy's website. People can't be seriously getting sucked in by that shit? Ugh. Congrats on Blog of Note - better you than an asshat like that dude.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry! This blog is FANTASTIC!!
ReplyDeleteWow! Look at all the new faces here. Thanks for stopping by. And thanks to the regular gang too, of course. I'll try to stop by everyone's blogs as soon as possible. Right now it's off to diaper management and dishwashing while the kids nap.
ReplyDelete@JG--thanks for the compliment about my writing.
Hey! Congrats! You've soooo arrived. And all on the Hot Wheels of Hate Mongering! No, the Taxi Cab of Truth. The Steam Engine of Soothsaying. The Zeppelin of Zingers. The Rickshaw of Rancor? The Ocean Liner of Observation?
ReplyDeleteReally, truly, congrats. You deserve it.
AND . . .your twins are cute. And I'd love it if you checked out my blog. Like there's time enough for that nonsense.
ReplyDeletewww.NinjaMomBlog.com
Yeah! Justice DOES exist in this world!
ReplyDeleteKeep kickin' ass and bein' real dude. :D
Thanks for posting the cute video of the twins, adorable!!
ReplyDeleteSeeing as though you are now a Blogger of Note, did you need us to contact Oprah or Ellen?
My kids are getting old and so am I. I'm also getting fat. But I hope to remedy that over the next 365 days.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
The Whale
"The Secret" is in my pants.
ReplyDeleteMy twins are the cutest twins in the whole world.
Oh, oh! The smackdown doesn't feel so great when it's you getting punked, does it, Mr. Meanieface?
SNAP! You just got served. Served a dose of your own hate-orade.
(Sorry for all of the above. Except for the twin thing. Because mine are cuter.)
Congrats. That is all.
ReplyDeleteYour bitterness has wounded my soul.
ReplyDelete@SDL--You'll be fine. Rub a little dirt on it. (Nice link, btw).
ReplyDelete@Sarah P--Your bitterness has wounded my soul.
I just left a comment on your Feb. 28 Fancy Dog post. You might want to read it.
ReplyDelete:-)
Your children are so cute!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the Blog of Note! I feel a little like how I imagine I'd feel if I knew a famous person before they were famous (although I only found your blog, um, a few weeks ago via Wait in the Van. But I'm jumping on the bandwagon anyway).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, considering that I totally don't have kids and can't really relate at all to anything you write, I think this is my way of saying you're a good writer. :)
Lai
http://newyorkprism.blogspot.com
Thanks for posting the cute video of the twins, adorable!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats! You're up there with "Cat Chat" and "A Tale of Two Buckskins"!
ReplyDeleteshit brother -- get you some comments, why don't you? you're provocative. and smart. and a good writer. that's a winning combo in my book. off to read your attack.
ReplyDeleteThe universe is oddly just. Congrats. M&Ms on me.
ReplyDeleteNice. To the point and no bull.
ReplyDeleteSuper. Totally connect with you on the too-long-for-the genre posts...have that problem myself, but gosh. I've got something to say, damn it.
ReplyDeleteI'm new to this whole blogging thing but I really like it. Yours is one of the first I've read & I really like it. I'm 17 you see & my dad is gone a lot & I feel like a have no connection with him whatsoever. I just think its admirable that you saty at home with your twins. I wish there were more dads out there like you.
ReplyDeleteI felt icky after I went to his blog. A little dirty. It made me want to delete my browsing history, you know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteYou, however, I like. Snarky, and sarcastic? Yes, please!
~Sabrina
******Attention********
ReplyDeleteIf you want earn money by writting (only 2-3 sentences) & this is completely new site (2 days ago). Rapidly growing so dont loss this opportunity
http://tinyurl.com/2dedqjq
OMG...I'm laughing so hard that if I wipe my eyes anymore, my contact lenses will be gone!!!
ReplyDeleteI've already added you to my 'Follow' list because you sound so much like me and so many others just trying to get through life, warts and all!
touché, beta dad. well played.
ReplyDeleteI read that entire post to Snoop Dogg's "Murder Was the Case."
ReplyDeleteI would have replied to his "Secret" suggestion in a juvenile way. Maybe with "That's what she said." or with, "I've got a secret. Right here. In my pants."
Keep shankin', son. Woah, an apostrophe AND a comma, RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Shit is gangsta, son. I'm going to keep coming here just to maintain my stret cred.
Nice stuff. Vinegar sure is tastier than the saccharine on that other site...
ReplyDeleteBTW here's mine.
Please drop by if you get a chance...
http://keepingupdownunder.blogspot.com/
Damn man, this place is blowing up. I need to go find a blogger to shank :)
ReplyDeleteMy wife asked me to check out this blog, and I left a few comments that were against the generally positive tenor of most, if not all, of the comments there. Mysteriously my comments are being removed from the site. Of course that just him "being real" I am sure.
ReplyDeleteJust click "blogs of note" and stumbled on you, i showed my wife, we have kids and can relate with what your saying.
ReplyDeletehttp://unknownhole.blogspot.com
It's funny how things like hating can bring people together. Congrats on being a blog of note though!
ReplyDeleteYour kids are adorable.
Jesus. I turn my back for a moment and you're talking about the Secret?
ReplyDeletejust catching up on the backlog of material as i've recently discovered your blog.
ReplyDeleteinteresting and amusing stuff!!