Monday, February 21, 2011

Dog problems: I might have to do something really dicky

 I've got a new post up at DadCentric!  It's about my dog dilemma.  Here's how it starts:  

It was almost exactly a year ago that I wrote this frustrated post about my dog (warning: disgusting photo) on my personal blog.  Since then we've been dealing with the problems I enumerated in the post (and in the email to the dog's breeder included therein); and not much has changed.
In case you don't feel like clicking around, here's a summary of that post:
  • Our dog is beautiful and large (120 lbs), and can pull a wagon full of kids, adults, or non-humanoid cargo like a goddam mule
  • She has some gastro-intestinal issues
  • She has some anxiety issues
  • She has some urinary incontinence issues (not unusual in females of her breed, although unusually severe in her case)
  • We once had some seemingly valid reasons for paying for a boutique breed instead of adopting a mutt, all of which make us seem like idiots now
I've written a few times about our Stella since then, but I have avoided doing so lately, because most of what I have to say about her is kind of sad and makes me seem like an ogre.

The truth is that I don't have a great relationship with my dog.  If we were married to one another, I suspect a couselor would suggest we seriously consider a trial separation.

When I talk about Stella, I like to use what an administrator at the high school where I once taught called an "asset model," and what my wife refers to as a "shit-filled twinkie."  That's when you start off lauding the positive characteristics about something or someone, and then move on to the areas that could use improvement.

So here goes.



  1. Take her to the farm ~ it's the perfect place for her, the poor thing. It's a quality of life issue for your family. (And for her~ she won't have people freaking out because she just pissed on the carpet. Not sayin' you do. But I would.)

    The twins can always visit her. Save your marbles, dude.

  2. B.D. -

    You are no less of a dog owner if you return her to the breeder. Just think: if she lives outside in a barn, both urinary and bowel incontinence will cease to be any sort of an issue. She will have dogs to play with and it sounds like more limited interaction with humans would be a welcome thing for her. I would just make sure the breeder is committed to not "re-selling" her and to letting her live her days out there.
    Hang in there. I know it can be hard to make these decisions but this sounds like what would be right for both of you.

  3. @M.A. and Mel--Thanks for your comments. Its cheesy, but I think I posted this at least partly so that people would tell me I'm not horrible for considering giving her up. It's depressing to think about though.

  4. I once had a beagle (I named her Chainsaw) with a terribly stinky gland problem. So I took her to a vet and he expressed her anal gland with his fingers.

    Can you imagine doing that for a living?

  5. Dang! I hate typos, too.


Don't hold back.


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