Friday, February 4, 2011

Plague Update, Bloggy News, Tadpoles

I haven't written anything here all week, partly because I haven't had time, but mostly because I didn't want to write about what was mostly on my mind, which was this: boohoohoohoo, I'm sick and my babies are sick and I'm not having any fun.

I was all jokey about how my household looked like Europe during the Black Plague in my DadCentric post on Monday, but it ain't that funny anymore.  I haven't been this sick in probably ten years, but of course that's not even the main problem.  The girls are just a mess.  Hacking and coughing and crying and whining and feverish and screaming pretty much 80% of their waking hours.  Seldom and few are the moments that neither of them are having some kind of fit.  It's heartbreaking.  Actually, I've moved beyond the heartbreak I think, and gotten to the stage where I'm just like, "Really?  You're gonna scream all day again?  And refuse to eat or walk?  And gush mucus?  You can't just suck it up like Dad's doing?" Also, I think I've slept more than 3 hours at a stretch exactly once since the middle of last week, because the kids have been either waking up multiple times during the middle of the night, or, like last night, sleeping through the night but waking up at 4:30 a.m.  So I'm really disoriented.  Somehow, my wife has managed to not get sick yet.  You might think I would resent her for that, but on the contrary, it's a great consolation that one of us is able to take care of business and not be a whiny baby.

I also resisted writing about this until now because it's really just what happens when kids get sick, which they are expected to do from time to time.  We've just had extraordinary luck in that our kids haven't had any real illnesses since they were born.  So here I am acting like it's the end of the world and my parenting abilities are being pushed to the breaking point, when in fact, this is all perfectly normal, and I know (and I'm sure you do too) families that have to deal with actual serious health problems every day.  It's hard to imagine.

This is what you missed by not being at my house this week (you can also see my version of the child-safety gate on the stairs--a couple of overturned chairs):

While my real life has been a little bit sucky lately, there's a lot of cool stuff going on in my life as a disembodied voice in the vast and cluttered emptiness of cyberspace*. 

First of all, Beta Dad was voted "Best Dad Blog" in the Studio 30 Plus Boomerang Awards.  This award means a lot to me because the people who voted are my peers--other bloggers around my age who are connected through this great community created by Jules and Jerrod.  Also, the other nominees in that category were guys I really like and respect.   I don't know how many people voted, but there are over 500 members now, and you should join if you haven't yet.  If you're a blogger.  And over 30.  So thanks, Jules, Jerrod, and everybody from Studio30+ who voted for me, and I guess everyone else too, although for what I don't know.

Also, I was very happy to lose to Becky of Steam Me Up, Kid (probably by like 497 votes) in the category of "Blog of the Year," since hers is pretty much my favorite blog ever and she's been a great support and inspiration to me, even though she is a filthmonger.  And I'm not insinuating that I came in second to her either.  There were a lot of other blogs nominated in that category that probably kicked my ass too.  Screw them. 

So the other cool thing that happened, apparently as a direct result of the Boomerang Award, is that someone from the very hip and wildly popular pop culture blog Mama Pop started reading my stuff, and asked me to join the team over there.  So I'll start writing over there next week.  Please, you guys, don't tell them I don't have a TV, because they will surely rescind their offer.

*We stopped using that word a while ago, didn't we? 


And finally, I have a new post on Aiming Low that comes out today, at noon EST, I believe.  It's pretty funny and doesn't reflect my current crankiness.  It includes the phrase "caper-infused snot-bath." Here's the teaser:

We had a couple free hours between the kids' naps and dinnertime last Sunday, and in discussing fun options for whiling away the afternoon, my wife brought up the idea of going to the pet store.

"Okay," I said, because that's what I always say when my wife suggests something.

But then I wondered why we needed to go to the pet store.

"Are we gonna try some new fancy dogfood?" I asked.  We're constantly tweaking our dog's diet to find a product that will minimize the farts, maximize poop firmness, and not cause skin reactions.  We have a very high-maintenance dog.

"No," she said.  "For the tadpole habitat."

"The tadpole habi...?" I said.  "Oh, shit.  The tadpoles.  You're still talking about that?"

My wife's friend from work has gotten her interested in raising tadpoles, which the friend does with her kids.  This friend was about to score like a kilo of prime polliwogs, and offered us a stake in it.

In case you're not a wildlife biologist, the thing about tadpoles is that they turn into frogs.  It's educational, the reasoning goes, for kids to witness and nurture this metamorphosis.

Have a great weekend!


  1. I may regret typing this,but I have a very different immune system to you BD,so I don't do ill.It's called the "Self Employed" immune system.Don't work,don't earn.I'd turn up to my shop with bubonic plague if necessary.

    Although that may put my customers off slightly.....

  2. congrats on the 'Best Dad blogger' and Mamapop! I love Mamapop!

  3. Congrats on the awards and increasing attention. I think it's well deserved! The side orders of snot are just life's way of keeping you grounded. Like, laid out flat.

  4. What can I say? Crying babies are cute...for the 10 seconds you showed us.


  5. Sorry u were sick... Should of had a few hot lemon tea w/bourbon does the job...btw vit. D helps the immune system..Haven't been sick in years!.

  6. Congrats on the awards! Also, talk to your wife (dr.) about Rynatan. This med saved my life. It is a cold med that kids take once every 12 hours and a side effect is that they sleep like a log!!!! The sleep helps them recover and it provides the parent with enough peace to get well themselves. I hope that this will help.

  7. Aw Beta Dad, you deserve all this recognition, I'm so happy for you. You really deserve Blog of the Year too, seeing as how you blew the Internet up so bad in 2010 it won't be walking right til summertime.

    And also, thank you. You're a real class act, fella.

    Now if you'll excuse me, this filth aint gonna mong itself.

  8. Good on ya, brother. I used to write for MamaPop; good people over there.

  9. I feel like I every time I come here, I spend all my time lately congratulating you on stuff. But I'll do so again:

  10. Sick kids suck. I'm thinking of getting kennels

    Congrats on all your good bloggy stuff!

  11. @Jack--We have the same immune system, just different jobs. I show up to work (childcare) regardless of my health, but I still don't get paid.

    @Elizabeth--Thanks and thanks! I love MamaPop too. I just have to hone my snarkiness a bit before I'm ready to run with that crowd.

    @Yash--Thanks. That's a great perspective on minor illness. It has given me some time to reflect. And practice hawking loogies.

    @Michelle--I agree. Even for 30 seconds it's cute. But not eight hours a day. Thankfully they are on the mend now.

    @KBF--I hadn't been sick in years either! I would have been all over the hot toddy action, but I drank all our brown liquor last time I had a cold, and have been too lazy to replace it.

    @Michelle--I'll ask her about that. Thanks for the tip! Of course, now they're almost better.

    @Steamme--No. Thank *you* for all the encouragement and stuff. And if you really think I deserved BOTY, please just email me the badge and we'll make it official.

    @Jason--Thanks, brah. I figured you must have written for them at some point. Maybe I can borrow some of your old posts to submit there. That's what frat brothers do for each other, right?

    @DiPi--Thanks! Most of your congratulations are for me following in your footsteps (DadCentric, MamaPop).

    @Homemaker Man--Thanks, dude!

    I was seriously considering just leaving the little screaming snot-monsters in their cribs and hiding on the other side of the house yesterday morning at 4:30. They are doing much better today though.

  12. I feel your pain. There have been many times when I have felt like a formless pool of mucus and death but decided to go to the office anyway just to avoid staying home and dealing with the rest of my sick household.

    By the time I enter my neighborhood at the end of the day, I have to force myself not to screech right by my driveway and head off to a local bar to take a couple shots of courage before I drag myself through that front door.

    You're probably envious of the nurturing nature of my parenting skills but what can I say? I was born with it.

  13. @Nari--I was so miserable yesterday morning that I couldn't even think of a place that I would rather have been. Even my imagination could provide no escape! All I wanted was for the kids to sleep so I could go to bed.

    The fact that you didn't get the drinks makes you more nurturing than me!

  14. I agree with Didactic - you're winning stuff and getting blogging offers left and right lately! You deserve it - congrats!!! Followed by a high-five cuz that's how I roll.

  15. Good work, B. Diddy. Who would've thought those rambling stories you always bore us with at holidays would win you such worldwide acclaim and disgusting amounts of lucre?!

    You deserve all of the blogging the prizes. Ever. Including the ones you're not nominated for.

  16. First the trikes and now an award. Damn dude, slow down and save some of the good stuff for the rest of us.

    On a serious note, well done. Good to see that people recognize your efforts. That is always a good thing.

  17. Congratulations on the award... really loving your blog! I've got a sick 20-month-old who's been acting EXACTLY like your kids are acting in your video. Hope the nightmare (for both of us) is over soon!

  18. That video is pure birth control! Hope you all make it through... I'm calling walgreen's for a refill.

  19. I've been up all night with two sick kids too - bastards! So, at 4:30 when one finally went back to sleep and the other was screaming like a banshee my wife told me if I was gonna scream and curse too then I should get the hell out of the room and she'd take care of it. Sleep? or sit and play around on the computer? Fun times, fun times. Work is going to be even funner. . .

  20. and congrats on the awards! That is awesome. . . love reading your stuff wherever it is. . .


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