Now, it seems, I am eating my flame-broiled words, and leaving my trusty skillet to languish in the cupboard.
It all started when my wife went to Target to pick up some paper towels and throat lozenges. When she returned, she was straining under the load of this:
I was not thrilled to see her lugging this cumbersome new toy into the house, because the kids' play area, at the time, looked like this:
In our defense, about fifty percent of that stuff was given to us, and another thirty percent we bought second-hand. So we're incredibly indulgent, but at least we're thrifty. That's got to count for something.
In fact, the only reason my wife bought the kitchen play set was because it was fifty percent off.
It looked like a nice unit from the picture on the box. Much sturdier and more tasteful than a lot of the garish plastic crap we tend to collect. So why on earth was it half off?
Perhaps this had something to do with it:
And yes, they are eating peas right out of the freezer for breakfast while still wearing their jammies. That's what they requested.
Assembling the grill was almost exactly as involved as assembling the girls' kitchen play set. Once again, I toiled in the dead of night, with my trusty halogen work light set up out on the deck.
And in the morning, this is what I beheld:
But then there was the matter of fuel. I didn't want to mess around with cans of liquid propane, and always be anxious that we were going to run out; so we had ordered a grill that ran on natural gas. That required running a gas line from the house out to the corner of the deck. Like so:
I know, I know. I've said a million times that grilling is overrated, and that real foodies use pans. And yet here I am slavering all over this great blast furnace like a caricature of a suburban dad accessing his inner caveman.
I can't defend my feelings here. The heart wants what it wants.
And my heart wants perfectly grilled meat.
|Meat shaped like the United States of America|
|Meat that still has some skeleton on it|
|Meat that has escaped the claws of grizzly bears|