Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Me on DadCentric: You Swing that Hammer like a Girl
I'll bet you didn't see that coming! I haven't posted anything on DC for a long time. Anyway, here's how it starts...
I'm Trying Not to Judge You for Swinging that Hammer like a Girl
Lately, as I try to get to sleep at night, apparitions of craggy old men in coveralls hover over me, pointing their greasy fingernails accusingly and chanting, "shaaaaame!" and "traaaaitor!" and "paaaantywaist!"
I hide under my covers and tell them to leave me alone--that I don't know what they're talking about.
But really, I know exactly why they're haunting me.
It's because I've brought disgrace upon countless generations of my male ancestors by allowing another man to fondle the most intimate bits of my inner sanctum. Yes, a ham-fisted journeyman has laid his filthy meat-hooks on the very hearth of my family's fortress and temple.
Well, it wasn't the hearth, really. It was the kitchen sink.
That's right. I paid a plumber to replace the corroded drainpipe that broke off and allowed water to flow directly from the sink onto the floor. (Naturally, this occurred when my parents, mother-in-law, 3 sisters-in-law, 2-brothers-in-law, and 2 nephews were visiting, and we were cooking and baking for the 40 guests we had invited to the twins' 2nd birthday party.)
Also, I wrote a couple short posts on TLC Parentables
Parents Who Spank Are Likely to Do so for Minor Infractions, Study Suggests
And, lest we forget, yesterday I was shilling for HP on Aiming Low. I did a very simple, pretty fun project, and included a cute video of the twins destroying my work.