Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Me on DadCentric: You Swing that Hammer like a Girl

I'll bet you didn't see that coming!  I haven't posted anything on DC for a long time.  Anyway, here's how it starts...



I'm Trying Not to Judge You for Swinging that Hammer like a Girl

Lately, as I try to get to sleep at night, apparitions of craggy old men in coveralls hover over me, pointing their greasy fingernails accusingly and chanting, "shaaaaame!" and "traaaaitor!" and "paaaantywaist!"
 
I hide under my covers and tell them to leave me alone--that I don't know what they're talking about.

But really, I know exactly why they're haunting me.

It's because I've brought disgrace upon countless generations of my male ancestors by allowing another man to fondle the most intimate bits of my inner sanctum.  Yes, a ham-fisted journeyman has laid his filthy meat-hooks on the very hearth of my family's fortress and temple.

Well, it wasn't the hearth, really.  It was the kitchen sink.

That's right.  I paid a plumber to replace the corroded drainpipe that broke off and allowed water to flow directly from the sink onto the floor. (Naturally, this occurred when my parents, mother-in-law, 3 sisters-in-law, 2-brothers-in-law, and 2 nephews were visiting, and we were cooking and baking for the 40 guests we had invited to the twins' 2nd birthday party.)


***
Also, I wrote a couple short posts on TLC Parentables

Parents Who Spank Are Likely to Do so for Minor Infractions, Study Suggests 

***
And, lest we forget, yesterday I was shilling for HP on Aiming Low.  I did a very simple, pretty fun project, and included a cute video of the twins destroying my work.

 

3 comments:

  1. My husband is quite similar in the fact that he is a handy man and will stop at nothing to fix something himself. He's a mechanic and his tools are an extension of his being. We had a faulty drain in the tub at our apartment and we had to call the on-site maintenance staff to address the problem because you know, it wasn't our place. He said he had never felt so useless. You men are wonderful, you know that?

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  2. That's nice of you to say!

    I really do love my tools. When I had a little construction business, my partner and I used to name a lot of our tools. It's a weird obsession. Also, I love putting on my tool belt (real carpenters call them "nail bags") and knowing exactly where everything is. I wish I could do that with all the other stuff in my life.

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  3. Dude, my husband felt uncomfortable around electricity.. He was a plumbing estimator/commercial plumbing contractor.. so naturally he felt comfortable around plumbing... I know you could of changed out that pipe, believe me! I've seen it done and yes, I could do it, but do I have the muscle to do it? maybe maybe not, depending on how corroded those pipes are... When in doubt get one of those do it yourself books.. or better yet google it... BELIEVE ME, U CAN DO IT and this is coming from someone who has watched countless times various plumbing stuff done.

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Don't hold back.

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