Friday, September 2, 2011

Messy Punks

Here's the latest.  Gotta write fast.  Cobra has been on a nap strike for 14 days now, and she finally fell asleep.

After trying to let her cry it out for the first week--which resulted in hour-long screamfests every afternoon--I decided to go into the room where she sleeps (we separate the twins at nap time) and lie on the floor for a while.  This worked out pretty well.  I would get a little nap while she practiced gymnastics in the crib.  She just doesn't seem to be tired.  And I've been working these kids like mules all week: three trips to Sea World, two trips to the zoo, a 1.4 mile hike (I carried them for .4 miles, but still), and playground every afternoon.  Anyway, today she finally fell asleep.  Hoping that breaks the curse.

Here is some cuteness that happened this week that I have to write down.  There's been a lot of cuteness, in fact; but I will only impose these few nuggets right now.

Int. Day. Both kids sit in booster seats.  Butterbean has rice caked on her shirt and face, Cobra is daintily spooning her food into her mouth.

Dad: (to Butterbean) Why are you so messy?

Butterbean: (beaming with pride) I'm messy!

Cobra: Like walrus!

(They are obsessed with the walruses at Sea World, who are, in fact, disgusting eaters.)


Ext. Day. Dad opens door of van to get kids out of car seats.  Butterbean has upended her water bottle and soaked herself and the seat. 

Dad: Aaaaargh!  Punk!

Butterbean: (with pride) I'm punk! 

Cobra: (touching the tip of her nose with her index finger) I'm sweetie pie!

Int. Day. Dad changing Cobra's diaper.

Dad: (farts)

Cobra: Daddy dit thối! ["Daddy butt stinky" in Vietnamese]

Dad: Yup.

Cobra: Daddy dit vvvvvvvvvvrrrrrrrtttttt! 

Here's some visual cuteness:

Butterbean kissing an orangutan

Butterbean cracking her sister up at lunch time (turn the volume down!):

Cobra ready to go to the zoo:

And of course, the obligatory links to other stuff I wrote this week.  I've been writing a lot, but some of the stuff I wrote this week will be published later this month.

In the order in which they suck least:

A Letter to Jay-Z  I was put up to this by my editor at Parentables, but I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out.

4 Sex Moves that Will Keep Your Man on The Couch  Smut I wrote for Insert Eyeroll.

Are Breastfed Kids Smarter?  Commentary on a news item at Parentables.

Why I Don't Make My Kids Obey Playground Rules  A little rant at Parentables.

Dude.  It's like a long weekend or something.  For you people who have jobs and stuff.  Have fun!

Also, I forgot to draw your attention to the pretty buttons below here that let you share stuff that you like on the interwebz.  My friend put them there because I don't know what I'm doing.  Please click them a lot.  It gives me extra lives.


  1. sounds like Cobra is outgrowing her naps! lol.. btw the girls are looking much older or rather less baby-like...

  2. Hella cute, man. The outgrowing of the naps blows. I read all 4 of those articles, I think. What do I win?

  3. Saw punk in the title and was hoping for a piece about CBGB's and The Clash,The Pistols etc.

    Outgrowing sleeping time isn't too bad,it's easier in the evening getting them off we found.

    Excellent piece as always BD

  4. @Homemaker Man--You win a free lifetime subscription to Beta Dad! Congrats!

  5. For realz?! They're so cute and hilarious!

  6. Adorable. Squeals of the twins always gets my dog going. I need to video tape it.

  7. Awwwwww. You make me want my own. Yeah, I'm totally pretending that "nap strike" thing wasn't mentioned.


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