Thursday, November 17, 2011

Mustache Update

Oddly, I am less humiliated by my mustache efforts than I thought I would be.  I'm probably heavily deluding myself, but I think it doesn't look that bad.  It's with a weird mix of horror and satisfaction that I accept that I might just have a mustache-friendly face.  Also, like countless balding guys before me, I'm convinced that the 'stache draws attention away from my hairline (or more accurately "hairlines," which you would understand if I ever allowed a picture of the top of my head to be published).

Those are my bedroom eyes, by the way
One thing I like about the mustache is its versatility.  I can look sleazy/dangerous:

Or creepy/dangerous:

Or batshit/dangerous:

The only time I get self-conscious about the 'stache is when people are within a couple feet of my face.  From a distance, it looks like regular facial hair, but when you get up close, it's all gnarly and wiry, and the hairs are curling and pointing in different directions.  That part is a little disgusting.  But I'm hoping that with time and the right grooming products, it will fall into line.

Thus concludes the mustache update for Movember 17, 2012.  Now please go to my Movember page (or anybody's really) and donate a couple bucks to help research and fight prostate cancer and other diseases that threaten men's health.


Other places I've been this week

On Aiming Low,  I wrote a letter to my daughters about how I had to follow my dreams of rock stardom.

On DadCentric, I interviewed Greg Olear, author of Fathermucker, a new novel written from the POV of a SAHD.

I wrote this tasteless thing about the repeal of DADT on Insert Eyeroll

Finally, Cobra was featured as a guest napper on the amazing and hilarious blog, Naps Happen


  1. I think it definitely balances your face... btw I hear facial hair makes one look a bit older... Shave it in a few and I bet everyone will think you are 30 or younger! :-)

  2. I rate it a solid 7/10. Mine's a 3, so you're doing well.

  3. I'm torn between whether you ARE the police, or if I need to CALL the police. I know the authorities are involved somehow.

    Batshit stashe with the park background could be the cover of your future children's music album.

  4. I like it. But then...dangerous is "my type".

  5. ROFL!!! It is all just horrifying this Movember nastiness. Mustaches are just all kinds of wrong!

  6. I would title "Or creepy/dangerous" as "At the G**Damned Playground Again".

    That was a good response earlier on FB, where I asked you if the moustache made you want to join the police force and you responded, "I don't really want to join up, just arrest people."

    Touche. Just don't taz me bro.

  7. From a distance, mine actually looks like mean and evil and stuff. Get closer than 5 feet and it looks like my face just discovered puberty. Do they sell facial hair relaxer? I'll go in on a bottle with you.

  8. So you don't think it lends you a debonair charm like David Niven then BD?

  9. I sense a pattern of some sort...a very dangerous one. Please, promise to be cautious with the power you now wield.

  10. Okay, batshit/dangerous nearly made me spew my drink - that's a photo worth framing!

    I like facial hair on men with less hair on top. DH grew his "unemployment goatee" in the fall of '09 and has never shaved it off.

  11. @KBF--I don't know if I look older. I think I look more grown up though.

    @Muskrat--Your mutton chops are pretty badass though.

    @Steamy--My future children's album, "Live at San Quentin"?

    @Gretchen--I've heard that about you.

    @Janice--Just give it a little time. You'll get used to it.

    @David--How 'bout a little pepper spray, then?

    @Busy Dad--I def need the relaxer. I'll let you know when I find some. BTW, Asian dudes with mustaches are hella-scary.

    @Jacks--Depending on my facial expression, I think it might. I'm gonna go put on an ascot now.

    @Mel--2 words: thank you.


    @Aimee--Cool. All I need is a tiny bit of pro-stache sentiment, and I'll keep it forever! I hope DH's facial hair hasn't made him unemployable.

  12. You need to get a following with your different personas. Try it out at I would give you a rating!

  13. I think you should stick with the look. I may stick with mine, of course I haven't sculpted it into a stache just yet.

  14. Re: bedroom eyes:

    Li wants to know, "Which bedroom?"


Don't hold back.


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