Friday, October 21, 2011

Lobster Hunt

Rinsing out a pair of underpants yesterday evening, I was reminded of what happened last Saturday night that caused the boxer briefs to turn the water in the sink into such a murky and foul-smelling brew.

No, I did not actually soil myself last weekend, although I came close several times.

The putrid undies (don't worry, we'll leave them behind soon) had been lurking in a plastic bin full of watersports gear since 3:00 a.m. last Sunday, at which point I was stripping off my wetsuit on the deck of a friend's fishing boat.  When I took my towel, snorkel, fins and wetsuit out of the bin after I got home at 4:00 a.m., somehow the underwear I had worn under the wetsuit escaped my notice, and remained in a wad there for the next three days.  When I returned the rinsed and dried equipment to the bin on Wednesday, I was greeted with a stench that surpassed that of the hamper where we throw the twins' used cloth diapers.

I had tried to bail on this nautical excursion when I first got the text message at 9:00 p.m. on Saturday; but my wife, hoping for a windfall of fresh seafood, had not cooperated with my project of enumerating the reasons that it was a bad idea to leave the couch.  She had little sympathy for my lack of motivation, which was caused largely by my having gone to my nephew's hockey game on Friday and drunk way too much beer, both during and afterward.

And I had been wanting to join my friends on one of these trips for quite some time; so I ultimately talked myself into it.  I decided to embrace this opportunity to try lobster diving for the first time.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Why Can't I Just Get a Camaro for My Mid-life Crisis?

I wrote a post on Aiming Low about how I got sucked into making an extravagant and impulsive purchase at the temple of consumerism, Costco.  Here's how it starts:

I don't know what the hell is going on with me.  Maybe it's just a one time deal.  Let's hope so.

For whatever reason, I was in a manic state when we went to Costco on Sunday.  Normally, I just push the cart and mind my own business, trying to entertain our 2-year-old twins while my wife collects the bushels and crates of provisions that will get us through the next couple weeks, or Armageddon, whichever comes first.

But somehow, on Sunday, Costco had developed an otherworldy sheen.  I swooned at the foot of the majestic towers of detergent, was rendered breathless by the acres of discount designer outerwear laid out on bed-high display tables, and was dazzled by shiny boxes of over-the-counter cold remedies.  It was like I was at a consumerist rave, up to the gills with ecstasy.

Read some more...

In addition to my usual self-promotion, I wanted to offer readers a couple tips about some cool things a couple of my friends are doing.

One of my best buddies from grad school, who is now a mom and adjunct professor way down there in South Cackalacky, has a cool Etsy store where she sells handmade baby stuff.  Her specialties are swaddling sacks, slings, and burp cloths. 

Her site is called The Little Donkey, and she's offering 15% off for Beta Dad readers. Just enter the code BETADAD at checkout.

She asked me if I had ever used a sling to tote our young'uns around, because she's thinking of making some slings for dudes, in more manly colors and patterns, like crossed swords and skulls and stuff.  I used a sling every once in a while, mostly around the house, but it wasn't that practical because we have twins.  I would usually put them both in the stroller whenever we went out.  So what do you dads think?  Would you, or did you, or do you, use a sling to "wear" your baby?

Another really old friend, a guy I know from when I was in the 7th grade and living in Moscow, USSR, has a cool blog that you should check out.  He's been a big slacker about posting lately, but he's got a couple new posts up, and everything in the archives is worth checking out.  The blog is called A Little Light Writing, and Yash, the author, writes about language, posts amazing photos he has taken, and writes about photography as well.  This isn't dry, academic linguistics, but rather lots of fun wordplay, information, and speculation about word origins from a guy who has lived and worked all over the world.  You should go over there and encourage him, and learn something while you're at it!

Go on, now.  Clicky clicky.   


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