When raising children, it’s not unusual for us to seek advice from others.
While the advice of friends and family is often given with good intent, this isn’t to say that the same strategies will work for you.
A child’s personality alone can mean that you may need to take a different approach from time to time when contending with a child’s difficult behaviour.
One of the many solutions used in promoting the good behaviour of children is the use of reward charts.
Another is this book on Positive Parenting – which I highly recommend.
While this may work in the short-term, you may struggle to find it is a long-term solution when enforcing boundaries.
Downfalls of Rewarding Children
Rewarding a child is a commonly-used practice for many parents, and as already noted, can have some benefits in the short-term.
However, our role as a parent is to ensure that children are consistently showing good behaviour, as well as making children aware of why good behaviour is important.
Constantly rewarding your child could mean that they aren’t focusing on the bigger picture.
People in life are expected to behave in a certain way. While everyone has their own persona, many of us will be in an environment that requires to us to conform to a number of rules, or suffer the consequences.
Rewarding children from the outset can mean that they’re not understanding as to why good behaviour is important, which mean traits could follow on into their teen years, and even their adult life.
Is Rewarding a Child a Bad Idea?
Many parents will have a period in their life when their children fill them with pride, and parents will be keen to show their children how proud they are.
However, we should ensure that this isn’t an ongoing arrangement when it comes to behaviour expectations.
Continually rewarding a child for their good behaviour will often instil more expectations, and you may find that the child becomes unruly unless there is a reward for acting otherwise.
Not only can this be costly for parents, but it also means that children aren’t learning the values of good behaviour and what benefits good manners can have in their future endeavours.
This isn’t to say that rewarding a child isn’t beneficial, but we must look at our approach.
Rather than lavishing children with rewards, we should look to reward children with acknowledgement of their achievements.
Many could argue that rewarding children is the ideal way of doing this, but again, constant rewards mean that the child is developing expectations when it comes to their behaviour.
Acknowledging achievements and good behaviour not only reassures children that you’re proud of them, but it also allows them to reflect how they feel.
For more in-depth advice on positive parenting then I would recommend this book on amazon
Accomplishments made by a child often means they’re more confident and happier.
Behavioural Charts: Successfully helping children behave better
Similarly, explaining the consequence of misbehaving can also be beneficial.
Children are by their very nature boisterous, so you may find there are still instance where misbehaving occurs.
However, children being aware of the ramifications will often mean they think about the implications they may arise.
What If My Approach to Parenting Isn’t Working
There will be times when you feel your methods aren’t working, and you can be tempted to try something else in order to correct the behaviour.
As noted, each child will have their own personality, and sometimes unruly behaviour can be attributed to something else going on in the child’s life.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something sinister going on, but getting to the root of the problem can be difficult in some instances.
Parenting Classes & Online Solutions
Many may be tempted to choose parenting classes, and while such classes are beneficial, they can be costly, meaning such classes aren’t available to everyone.
Fortunately, there are other solutions available to you that are not only more cost-effective, but could be more beneficial in the long-run.
An example of this is an online platform for parents called Positive Parenting Solutions.
Not only does the website offer a slew of advice in relation to all types of unruly behaviour, it also offers tools that can be employed during more stressful times.
When our child showcases unruly behaviour, it can be easy to assume we’re at fault.
While there are certain behaviours we may have to change, parents are only doing what they think is best, and I can be deflating to learn that we may have been dealing with some aspects in the wrong way.
Positive Parenting Solutions brings together parents from all walks of life, as well as giving you access to professional advice, meaning that you spend less time feeling like you’re to blame, and invest more time into taking positive action.
As i’d said above id recommend the next step to pick up the Positive Parenting book – which you can get here on amazon.