You are torn, currently in that phase where your mind says one thing while your emotions completely say another. Getting cold feet is normal and proposing to the one you want to be with for the rest of your life is a big step. You might even feel like you can’t talk to anyone about this, fearing that they might question your relationship.
If you have been thinking about it, chances are you and your partner have been together for a long time and the want to spend your life with them has been on your mind. But there’s still a bit of doubt in you hence the pondering. Read the signs to know if you’re ready.
A Brief History
Why do we propose getting down on one knee? And why don’t women do it? Proposals and engagements involve old traditions. But in order to understand the concept that surrounds it, let’s go back to what comes after proposals: marriage.
Marriage can be traced back to the Stone Age where it was done to build alliances between people that had disputes with land and goods. As civilization grew, marriage became more than just a solution to land problems. It became an investment among women in terms of their future.
This later changed again in the late eighteenth century wherein people started choosing partners based on emotions which a lot of people thought was pointless. Rich families have started with arranged marriages. Around this time, there was a notion that women were too emotional to choose whom they would marry. Men were thought to be level-headed decision-makers and believed to have more to lose by getting married so they were considered to be more rational in choosing a wife.
By the nineteenth century, Americans and Europeans started to consider husbands as providers and wives as home nurturers. But the mindset of men being more logical continued. With this, the tradition of men being the ones to propose was passed on to this day.
Signs You Are Ready
Thinking about it doesn’t make you run away.
This is the first sign that might conclude you are ready. Just thinking about it and planning how to do it means you are comfortable with the fact of spending your life with that person. It doesn’t make you hide under the covers nor change the subject if it comes up in a conversation.
A lot of men swerve from just a mention of the word marriage and future and that is a clear sign that they are not ready for such a commitment yet.
You can argue yet discuss it afterward.
Mature conversations are the best formula to a healthy relationship. It goes the same way with marriage. Yes, arguments are inevitable but it’s not entirely a bad thing. People grow from disagreements. What’s important is being able to communicate in a way wherein you will listen to each other and be able to deliver your sentiments without getting defensive.
Some couples are ruined by a mere argument because of pride, lack of empathy, communication, and understanding. If you and your partner are the complete opposite and you don’t let such arguments get in the way then this is a good sign that you are mature to handle any situation after marriage.
You’re looking for the perfect wedding band already.
Do you find yourself glancing at jewelry shops? Maybe googling the perfect engagement ring that would best fit your partner and your budget? Planning how and when to pop the question is something that you feel giddy about is a very good sign as well.
We recommend to really think about what you’ll buy, may it be a custom engagement ring, family heirloom, or just a ready-to-wear piece from the best jewelry shop in your location. Popping the question with your chosen wedding band in hand will be something you’ll remember for a really long time.
You trust each other without a doubt.
Besides communication, trust is also a good foundation for relationships. If you trust them with their opinions, is the first person who you confide with whether it’d be good or bad news then you are in for the wedding bliss.
Trust is hard to build with a person, it is delicate since it’s easy to break. Trusting your mate with every single aspect of your life without a doubt, wanting to share everything with them shows commitment and the love that you have for your partner.
You want to spend your life with each other.
If your partner cracks the lamest jokes but is still the funniest person you know, makes the most difficult times bearable and fun, and you are just comfortable with discussing every little thing then it’s definitely a yes. Bonus points if you have talked about it to your partner and they feel the same way.
Being in tune with each other’s personalities and knowing your partner well is not that common. A long marriage is sure to have its ups and downs, good days and bad days but when you are with the right person, it feels a bit easier — a good sign that you guys are meant to be.
Just take a breather and don’t pressure yourself. You will know deep inside if you are ready to take such a big commitment. But if you are, then you better get down on one keen and pop that question.